A Hope, A Life, A Beginning

2011-07-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

Had been really busy with school work and work last few days. Working my ass off on weekend standing at least 10hours on sunday got my legs all painful and tired. Monday came and I was at home doing my report and went out a while to meet my friend.

Today, did some shopping and bought stuff that I wanted to buy, more tees and shades. Went shopping with stanley, bought a earring and a stud for 13.50 at hougang mall first before meeting stan to go bugis.

Walked around looking for shades, I bought one for 5 bucks. Pretty cheap. I spent 60 on 2 Praise Tee, the design was nice and stuff.

Seeing how my friend all so successful, I want to be sucessful too. I have 2 friends who started out their own company, one of them quite stable while the other one is still building up. Stan also working his way into film industry, taking up some minor projects at the moment. I too, want to be sucesssful but Im really have not much idea what to be.

I like photograhpy but that is just my hobby, I like making short videos but that is also my hobby, I studying in a design sch getting my diploma but I seem not to have much interest in it. Really, I don't know what I want to do. I thought of becoming an art teacher, but it seems that I don't have the requirement. Min requirement, O lvl and I don't have that. A portfolio is needed too but without O lvl, Im actually a bit lost.

I thought of PE teacher, but one of the requirement stated that I must swim a distance and I can't swim. Well, currently what I want to do is performance. But that won't earn me much, I wouldn't dare put too much hope into it either.

I really need to start now, Im already 20, not old but damn, I just can't decide what I want to do.

Zavier Signing Off~

Lights

2011-07-12T03:00:00.000-07:00

Just made a video out of pure boredom today. Yesterday, I went out with stanley. Followed him to meet a client for his first freelance job. Getting paid 600 for a simple editing of a video by putting in subtitles is a lot. Well that goes without minus CPF. How awesome is that? Met the client at Funan. The client seem to be quite a pro in his line and got stan for this job as he had no time.

We then walked around randomly at town and finally we went to train at buangkok. Met up with Melvin and we did some small training. A cat distracted me though LOL. The cat was so cute and I also found out the way cat communicates. I also communicate with cats better now.

Zavier signing off!

2011-07-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

Everyday, I come back and type a post, I will always say, everything is going smoothly for me. Really, life has been really great ! Eversince I broke up, it felt as if a burden is gone. My sister got married, I got a stable part time job. I have more time to train and money isn't much of a issue to me now.

What more can I ask for really...Today at work , I felt really pissed. I never felt that pissed off in my life before over a small matter. My japanese boss(the chef there) caught me smoking during working time but hey! There was no customer?! He changed my clock-in time from 1130am to 12pm meaning I lost 3.50 over a 5min cigarette break when there was no one at all?

Yes I was damn pissed off. He was pissed off with me too but what I found strange was that I am known for being able to control my temper well but I didn't know what got into me that got me so angry over such a small matter.

Over the time, I was clunching my fist, punching cabinet when he isn't looking. :/ After a while it got busy, I forgot about the matter too :). Well kind of a good thing. He later in the evening change back to 1130am. I guess my working attitude is all that matter. Maybe he was guilty? Maybe he thinks that I don't deserve that and realized is was his fault to be petty over such small matter.

Putting my ranting of work aside. My godsister have been really cold to me lately. I am not sure why? But she once said she go for look and as for many of you who know me personally. My picture may look good but just on that picture add in a few pimples scar and tada, you have the real me.

Great, good, a lot of people say I have the look but I inherited my mom's acne problem which my mother's side all have and including my siblings. It just spoil my look. I have very low self confident due to that. "If only you don't have acne problem..." I heard from quite a lot of people! Damn makes me think that this acne is killing all my chances.

Monday and tuesday no sch. I wanna go out and do both training on mon and tues. Gotta sign off. Don't feel like typing suddenly.

Zavier signing off~

2011-07-07T04:55:00.000-07:00

Life has been going on smoothly for me. Dad striked 4D again. Kind of good that on money problem, we don't have to worry much but maybe about the fact that he won't use that money to help us pay back the debt?

Monday, I had performance in my sch as my friend is one of the committee in this sch and he wanted to show off his and our talents. It was a easy going performance doing moves at almost anyhow. We did what we do best and hopefully this will be my future job. A performaner, a stuntman but long way to go.

I also want to be a teacher that brings light to the student. I wanted to be an Art or at a PE teacher but requirement for PE needs to be able to swim and I can't swim for nuts.

Daily lecture is like chanting to me. I will fall asleep hahaha. Watched 2 movies for the past few days. Transformer 3D , not worth it at all. The 3D not so 3D. And Laddaland yesterday. It was pretty scary. The story line a bit anyhow but the scaring part was awesome!

I made a video about it . You can see it on my facebook. Just click the link on the left side of the blog and go to my videos.

Ending post.

Zavier Signing Off~

2011-07-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

Ain't gonna go full detail but just the main point or wait. Im just gonna summarise what happened the past 2 days.

2 Days ago, Im not sure what date it was but I met up with stan and anthony and went to the keppel railway station to have one last final look? Stan was filming, I was just basically following him around taking pictures as I go. We then went to eat and they accompany me go shopping. I don't shopping at all except chinese new year and random days? But my casual shoes is already tearing apart, buying a new pair is a must. So it was hunting for the shoes! Bought the everlast shoes for 44.90 very cheap I must say hahaha. We then went to training where I did some light movement, more with flows and I move without thinking. Im so use to moving that it only require me to think for the first movement and the rest was just my body. Coming up with different moves as my body react to the obstacles my eyes saw. It was pretty much my 2nd nature to move around obstacles maybe rails. Im kinda happy though ;)

Yesterday nothing much, just working the whole day. One of my mate didn't turn up so in the end I was thrown to do the opening in which I had no idea how to. But luckily people who worked 12pm came early and helped me out. It was very quiet, usual nobody. All the restaurants, you get tired working but for this, you get tired from standing doing nothing for hours! But yesterday was different. Around 7.30pm till 9pm, a lot of customers came in. It was soon full house but was able to handle though I did screw up the part where there was no rice but I keyed in orders made by customer which had rice in it. Im not suppose to cause there was no more rice? But it went in my head and I forgot about it. 9pm sharp, I went home. There was still quite a lot of customers but my colleage should be able to take it.

Just some minor updates about my life?

Zavier Signing off~

Day out

2011-06-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

It is already passed 12 so it is officially today. Yesterday was my off day, I went out with my best friend stan and boss, ashton to go training at this spot I been eyeing at. It is actually a new estate somewhere in Boon keng called the River Vista. Probably got the name from 'river' nearby, goverment probably want sound professional a bit but it is just a huge canal LOL. Main activity over at the neighbourhood is just fishing. There were a lot of people with fishing rod camping over a extruding platform made especially for people who fish.

We started exploring, and found a spot and started training. A while later, we have to fetch ashton as he was late and didnt know how to go there. Back with ash later at the spot, we started training again. I wasn't in my top form so I was a bit unable to control my movement well but that didn't stop me from training. I manage to nail a flat rail precision and controlled it. The rail sits by the canal and if I fail in control, "splash" goes me down into the canal LOL. My first try was awesome. Controlled it but a man shouted to me opposite and told me to get down and that I will die. But I didn't care hahaha. He probably just another typical singaporean.

We later went to another spot to train and then eat. I had ice kacang. Fucking cheap! 80cents for it?! Thats totally worth it man! But maybe it comes at its price. Preparation for it was pretty much unhygenic with the auntie using her hands to tap the ice in place. :/ Didn't care though and ate the whole thing. We went to fitness corner slack and I tried SBJ. Had 275. Didn't improve at all. Few months back, 275 now still 275. Maybe I wasn't in top form? Im not sure. But I was a bit disappointed .

Went home shortly after that. Another 12 hours time, I got work. Sian ar! Hope work is not boring!

Zavier Signing off !

2011-06-24T18:07:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was an awesome day for me, I really enjoy my time with pksg more now. I mean they are getting more and more fun. Yesterday was the final workshop and we came early to discuss about how we were going to do the workshop.

Reached there around 1pm and we talked, slacked and discussed. Finally it was time for us to fetch the beginners from Tanah Merah MRT and one of my friend is coming. Me and 2 other friends were doing the precision station where we guide them. I saw progression the effectively in our guiding. I could see it from my friend. He never train parkour before to now, he could actually do a precision controlled, well most of the time. But that is really good to someone who tried it for the first time.

Soon the whole workshop was over around 7pm, the time when it starts to get dimmer. Our clique decided to stay and tried to nail some moves. I managed to nail a move and continue my flow further only to break a 2m long wooden fence and fell on my ass and back. Got some abrasion but I was more worried about the commotion I cause by breaking the whole fence.

We all went off shortly after as we are afraid of the police since we were making hell lots of noise too. We went to have our dinner at this cheap japanese restaurant where we went crazy again. Forever seriously, all of us are crazy. But they are all funny. After dinner we went to a playground to slack where we played various way to slide down a slide? During a point, everybody suddenly decided to do a train on a slide, where the first person slide and stop there. Then more people come sliding down and stack, I was the fourth, I opened my legs and my crotch was on someone back. More people come from my back. Crushing me but the force was on my crotch.

It was seriously pain, I was shouting and finally the first person got up, I felt relieve but there was this burning pain on my crotch. It hurt kind of bad :/ We all went home after that. Well my leg is really really sore but I definitely enjoyed the day with PKSG and looking forward to more with them ^^.

Zavier signing off~

2011-06-21T06:51:00.000-07:00

After that day, I came back from chalet, I slept till 2pm and was woke up by my bro to accompany him to watch green lantern. Ok the movie was awesome! We went to bugis and browse around during the time we were waiting for the time of the movie to start. I was yawning alot, didn't pay much attention to surrounding. I was pretty much bored!

Yesterday, I went to my grandma house to visit her. Trip to there which is jurong west is a boring 1hr and 45min ride. 30min bus ride to AMK and 40min MRT ride to jurong east station and another 30min ride to my grandma's house. Yup it was really far. My 2 small cousins is just pure irritating with both of them telling me different things beside me. Each of them telling me about their story books, I tried to pay attention to them and talked to them. Soon I couldn't take it anymore, my head almost burst! Went home after a while.

Today, went to do some parkour training but ate some western food that is pretty much like Aston and got food poisoning. Great, so I didn't train much, I shit 2 times, my stomach hurt like fuck and there was once while rushing to the nearest clean toilet at nex, a warm kind of watery feel dropped on my arm. FUCK! It was birdshit. How unlucky can I get? Food poison and now birdshit?! My shit was coming out, I quickly wiped it off and rush to the the toilet to clean my arm and then proceed to do my business.

I really miss someone, I think I have fall for her. I want to her soon but she don't seem to like me :/ instead she sees me as a friend.

Zavier signing off!

Time Check

2011-06-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Time is in rough estimation

8.35pm : Left for chatlet which is located at downtown east, Coasta Sand

8.50pm : Guy alight and hook my earpiece in bus, I was kind of pissed off.

9.05pm : Reached Pasir ris interchange

9.35pm : Reached chatlet but couldn't find my friends

10pm : Saw my friends flipping at grass and joined them

10.10pm : Flipped with them

10:40pm : Ended flipping session

11pm : Bought a cigarette pack

11.30pm : Followed my friends eat mac

12am : Deciding on where to go, movie, pool or bowling.

12.10am : Back in chatlet slacking

12.30am : Splits into groups, 1 group when bowling

12.50am : Decides on playing pool

1am : Reached there and pool was closing

1.10am : Went to bowling ground and it was packed.

1.30am : Back to chalet, but was locked so we slacked outside.

2am : Still locked outside, me and another friend went to get the key from our another group of friends

2.15am : Back in chalet, ate instant noodles and watched sourcecode from the friend's hardrive on lappie

3am : Knocked out half way through the show

4am : Woke up and show just ended. The rest just came back too

4.10am : 17 people left on a tour to the red house, a believe to be haunted building abandon in the woods at pasir ris

4.30am : Everybody was there, holding on to each other shoulders we walked in carefully.

5am : There was nothing, guess we went in too large numbers

5.15am : Back in chalet

5.30am : Tried to sleep but it was too noisy. The rest was making a lot of noise

6am : Noise persist.

6.10am : People complained

6.30am : It was quiet for a while

6.35am : Everybody start making noise again

6.45am : I knocked out at one corner

7.35am : I woke up

8am : Stretching outside

8.30am : Eating mac breakfast :)

9am : On the way home!

2011-06-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

Got really busy with school and work this past few days. Leaving house at 8am just to go sch and leaving sch around 5 just to go work until it is 930pm? Reaching home feeling really tired and shag and only to sleep and the cycle repeats. Yup that was how busy it was for the past 2days. Yesterday was a bit different, more of fun. Same thing, rush to sch to finish up my automata project. The toy that I wrote on the past few post.

The deadline was up, everybody couldn't finish, well except for a few. I was within one of the few that finish and the toy was working but not that well. While waiting for my turn to present, I was shifting the gear, making sure that it was at its default position. Tried many times and it didn't work. I mean it could for the first few try but it got stuck. But nontheless, it was my turn and I was surprised my toy didn't get stuck. Man a miracle! Last mintue it work! But I was told later by my friend that after I left, the lecturer played with my toy again and it didn't work at all :/ Hope he don't minus marks.

Of cos happy, I went off to the beginner workshop in which I had miss the past 2 and my friends weren't very happy at all. But Im glad, I went, I miss training. Sch, hives got me not training for at least 2 weeks. That is really really long. Glad, I haven't lost my skills, or in fact glad that I haven't detoriate :p

It has been really long since I last met my fun mates, the childish group, PKSG :) We had dinner, had fun talking. Damn I miss the group really, tonight Im going to their chalet! Yeah all guys though. Kind of gay hahahaha. But super awesome! Looking forward to it too. Tonight also have my father's day dinner ^^

My sister coming to join us, she got married, I want to see her again. Really miss and love her. Gonna end post now.

Zavier Signing off!

Whatever I feeel like

2011-06-14T06:01:00.001-07:00

Haven't really blog here much due to busy schedule.

Feeling kind of nausea right now, not really sure why.

Thinking of idea to make my toy more interesting other than just having it doing jabbing only.

Got a rough idea how my toy will look like now. All that is left is just to finish it up before friday.

Friday, got a workshop to attend. Needa guide the beginners, make sure they on the right track to starting out Parkour

It seems like I don't train that often anymore, am I beginning to lose interest in moving? From once I was so passionate about it till now.

Was it because of my status that Im one the few sick one in singapore that I auto tunned to not training since Im one of the top?

My urge to move is slowly dying down. I find myself more into girls. Weird but it seems like I really want to be more in the love side?

Perhaps it was the past that I wasn't that interested in getting a girlfriend till now that Im so I been training lessser.

Tomorrow, Im working, don't really feel like working but as long as I see it as a kind of sch thing, a kind of responsibility, I will.

When I see money rolling in, I feel happy.

What more is just 4hours a day, shouldn't be much.

Getting really tired and lazy to type. Gonna sign off!

Zavier Signing off!

2011-06-11T07:27:00.001-07:00

It was recently, my lecturer told me about teamwork. We were suppose to form a team and dismantle a fan and then mount it in a exploded view on any kind of board. Yes, fan was big, so the mounting board was too.

Our group all came to a agreement that we will all do things together, our lecturer of cos didnt approve of that and told us something that a good team is work spilt among team members. But what I had in mind is that we should always do everything together so each and every member will understand the process.

We argued with the lecturer and of cos we did it our own way. He then told me that if we were to continue that, we are gonna rely on each other and that is how a team will fail. I didn't believe but turns out to be the truth. We were all reliance on each other. 2 person will be doing and 2 will be slacking for they will rely on the other 2 to do since they think, we are in a group, I don't do the others will also do.

True enough, it seems like only the leader and me did the most work. Everybody is relying on each other. Like how my family keeps relying on me and how I rely on them. Everybody is relying on one another. Only those who rely on theirselves will make it far and that is what I realized.

So probably that is also the reason why today Im tidying up the whole house and I did the most work -.- My family all rely on me too much, I didn't push them, I gave them an impression that if they don't do anything, when the time comes, I will do. Now they rely on that fact and Im suffering.

Nevermind that, they will suffer in the future if they don't rely on theirselves. I now learn that we should always rely on ourself and not others.

Enough ranting, I think I understand now. Gonna end post and eat. Im really hungry and tired.

Zavier signing off~

HAIRHAIRHAIR

2011-06-08T05:58:00.000-07:00

Imagine you laughing and you laugh hair hair hair hair hair! Instead of har har har har har. It will be kind of cool ain't it? Ahahahaha . Today, I went to cut my hair and wasn't really that all happy :/ The hair didn't turn out what I expected it to be but doesn't matter, no point pondering on it. Shaved side with pattern and the rest trim. I looked in the mirror and it looked ok to me though.

Already some people commented that my hair not that nice~ So school was boring, went to workshop, did some sawing, drilling and the usual. Spent quite an amount getting materials. The 4 of us later around 330pm went off to salon cut hair.

The irritating part is that they keep talking about it and keep looking at internet for hair tattoos to shave on the side. After all the talking, I got irritated by their indecisive decision as to where to cut, what to shave. I immediately got really sian of the idea and almost wanted to drop the haircut.

Texted a lot of people today, then my prepaid running low, soon I can't text anymore! Damn and texting is like one of the main thing in my life. Without text is equivalent to no communication and no communication is equivalent to no way to get to know your friends whereabout or stalk them then slowly we will all drift away then you get lonely~ then lonely to suicide cos you can't live anymore!

Omg communication like so important! Tomorrow need to finish up the reverse engineering and start on the toy making. So rush :/ Im not even sure if Im able to finish in time or in fact have time to finish it. This sunday my sister wedding, buffet. Then have to tidy up the house, so troublesome cos Im going to be doing the most !

Everybody busy, mom keep giving excuses then always worried about money. Then money here money there. Im sick of it. Gonna go sleep liao tata!

Zavier Signing off!~

Until I can forget your love

2011-06-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

Random title! Cos the singer was singing that lyrics X). A day like any other day, no fun, usual worries. I don't know what to blog about! People usually complain about their daily life but seems like my life is currently calm like the sea~

Tomorrow Im cutting hair hahaha OMG I don't know how many times I mentioned already! Tomorrow is going to be my first time shaving patterns and Im so excited!

Took bus today with a random girl beside me, he makeup so thick, then her side view reminded me of a 'beautiful monster' in my previous elective class and it kinda totally freaks me out! I was really uncomfortable sitting beside her but I didn't want to change seat as I would make it really obvious :/

I also tidy up a part of my living room, the tv set cabinet and shoes rack. It took me long 2 hours cos there was a lot of shoes and dust! A lot of rubbish too but no insect luckily~ just a few spiders.

No kick at all, I love them. They help me eat insects no wonder there was no insects hahaha. After tidying up, I went to shower. Hives a bit gone but itchiness still there. Actually, it just came back not long ago ><

Can't slack now. Time to do work! Cya!

Zavier signing off~

Updates

2011-06-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

Im sitting here, I have done nothing productive other than just pure slacking through the night. My itch continues for its 4th day, giving me no comfort every second.

Nothing much happened in school today, nothing special and nothing fun to talk about today. It is a really boring day. Went to sch as usual, met up with friends and lesson went on.

Me, patrick, shermond and tyson decided to cut the similiar haircut together on wed! So excited, I think it is going to be funny! All of us decided to shave a side or 2 and put the same hair tattoo on it!

I don't know how my mom will react to it but maybe she won't like it? ahahahaha. But im the kind of person who follows what I feel is right ^^ I want to look good before my sister wedding :D

Oh! I bought a limegreeeeeen earpiece! Finally music in my ears when I go sch or come back from sch, damn shiok!

It cost 10bucks, quite cheap honestly speaking, didn't expect there to be bass but there is a bass on 1 side though which make it kind of weird and got me wondering if it is the earpiece that have problem or my ear?

Didn't bother, I don't think it is my ear. Kinda stupid. I mean, Im alright with other earpiece so maybe a bit problem, but I lazy go change.

It probably can last right? I mean I just bought it. Tomorrow need to go workshop, today went workshop without my shoes just slippers and was told off by the most friendly lecturer there when I tried to operate a machine :x

So after all the sch and stuff, I reached home and well, tidy up my room a bit though. It is getting really really messy now. My hives acted up. I found out that green tea can bring down and soothe the itchness which is good cos starting from tomorrow, Im so gonna spam green tea.

I drank 1litres of it today :P

Gonna end post now! Bye

Zavier signing off!

Endless rain

2011-06-05T06:48:00.000-07:00

The loud thunder clapping, woke me up from my good morning sleep. The hives was getting better but I wasn't sure, as previously every morning the hives seem to be gone but after I get active in the day, my hives come back naturally.

So I begin my day with usual doraemon routine, grandma came my house and shit, brought her back home together with my bro with red patches all over my body. It invited stares from strangers, it was quite uncomfortable at first, but I soon got used to it and kinda ignore it

Went to nex next, hahaha nex next! NEX NEXT? Get it? okok Im lame. Paid the monthly installment, walked around and had my lunch. Itch was getting really uncomfortable. I don't know when it will stop, I really want it to be gone. I want my hives to be gone!

Friends keep asking me to go out but I can't :( Hives haunting me for 3 days straight, I dont know how long this will last. I miss her, yes I miss her. After that I went home around 430pm to play games.

I got freaking screen by the police at serangoon interchange because I was suspected to be involved in gang activities because I look like one? -.- Never mind that, it wasn't my first time. What pissed me off was that my bus went off in front of me! I told them to be fast with their jotting down as I didn't want to miss my bus but I missed my bus by a mere few seconds.

They fucking went off telling me sorry, Sua, never mind that. I waited a freaking 15 more min for the second bus to come. Totally waste my time. Reached home, and a while more I went to eat dinner with my bro.

Unknowningly, I found myself keeping a lookout for her. I really hope to see her but just seeing her is enough. I want to know how she is doing. Hougang mall, I even went to arcade. Disappointment but never mind. Went home and tired, itch and feel so uncomfortable.

Zavier signing off~

Itchiness

2011-06-04T04:11:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, it is very itch, felt like someone is tickling me all over my damn body! Great, thanks to this fucking hives, I wasted 73 dollars and wasted 84 dollars worth of money because I didn't go to work!

If not for this damn hives, I would have earn extra 84 dollars by now and not losing 157 dollars! Fuck that is a lot of money....GGGGrrrrrrr fuck it. Damn pissed off. I totally wasted 1 day of my life and money due to this hives.

I did nothing other then playing games, watching stupid video and facebooking. I felt so no life? I really want to go out even though Im in this situation but I know if I do, everyone will be staring at me.

Plus my parents surely won't allow me to. So 1 day wasted, I really hope my hives will be gone before monday, I need to go sch! I can't because of this stupid hives that my whole life, future is affected! Damn.

Not much to post cos I did nothing at home! Unless you all wanna read about me playing my game, how I level up, complete my quest and stuff hahaha

So I summoned 9 skeletons,1 clay golem, 1skeletal mage and I went to Act 3 to fight all the monster.....Okkok just kidding ;)

Ending post!

Zavier signing off!

I'm Back

2011-06-03T03:31:00.001-07:00

Alright readers, Im back~ Thanks to the most recent thing that happened in my life, now Im gonna blog daily :P be it long or short. Im still gonna post. Before facebook was here to overtake blog, I used to have 30 to 40 views a day. And yes it is true. I have over 250 different viewers from around the world! It may not be a lot but just take a look at our blog profile if you have one ;) Alright, gotcha! I owned you!

So many things happened, I got into a relationship! Hahaha, yes and it was my first. Take note of the was, Im now single. Yes true true. We broke up few days ago? Not because she suck but because we were not meant for each other. We have similiar thinking, she wanted herself to give in to me but I was always the one giving in to her. O.O It was sad enough, I cried more than I expect myself to but Im sure she cried more than me, I have hurt her more than she hurt me.

You see, we have almost the same interest, same fear and badly the same thinking. We think the same, so it was like, she didn't want me to give in to her everytime but I always do cos I simply can't allow her to give in to me. Maybe because of that I made her the bad guy here.

But nontheless, we move on, as my first, she was amazing. I don't mean on bed :) but her character. She is like this strong girl with mature thinking. That is what attracted me to her. She love me, I didn't treasure her and now, I regretted it. But it is all over. No point pondering on it hahaha.

I got a new job too, working at Kusabi restaurant. Not much to say, probably a japanese chef doing the cooking and a small restaurant space in Marina Square, also the Central.

My friends have told me that Im the oldest and yet, Im the most childish. Hahaha, I agree with that totally! It can't be help that Im a childish dude, I mean it is afterall in my blood! Im born this way~ *sings in the lady gaga born this way tune* :P

Ok, so Im suppose to work today? But I can't cos Im down with hives. It is gone, Im quite shock, the itch isn't that strong anymore. All it took was just an injection :P

33 bucks all worth it! Ahahaha.

Tomorrow, Im working, 12 to 9, long hours. But probably I can take it cos the money is worth it. :)

Gonna end post, Gonna change the skin and everything! New life starts now though the world is ending next year :x

Zavier signing off!

2011-04-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

I just recieved news from my girl that she got top in class for her oral. Congrats to you ;). You got what you deserved.

Maybe I wanna share with you all a story, this is a story about a girl whose life is filled with downs.

Her name is Maggie. She is 35 this year, attached. Many of us are lucky enough to be born into this world with life that are satisfying or it is but we are not satisfy at all. But for her case, she was unlucky enough to be born into a life that is far worst than what you all can think. Borned to a single mom named Ah hiok who is yet to marry but her irresponsible boyfriend got her pregnant and many times the mom tried to miscarrige the foetus but failed to do so. It was perhaps fate to bring her into the world.

Maggie grew up without the love of a father but her mom was strong enough to work several jobs just so to feed her. Her boyfriend would come back frequently asking for money to gamble. And outside, he owns the loanshark a lot of money and the loansharks would come frequently to ask for the payment. Ah hiok didn't lead a peaceful life. She worked day and night and in the end money was barely enough for them to survive and she still have to give the money to her boyfriend. Yes love is blind, love is enough to make someone stupid.

Maggie was just 8 when she have to go through a lost of a father. Ah hiok's boyfriend attempted suicide when he realized that loanshark was coming after him all the time. But that didn't end the harrasment, they now target both maggie and her mom. But it was lucky that the collector fell in love with the mom and was make it to a point that they can return the money slowly with low interest rate.

Of cos the man persisted and tried to woo her but in the end failed to do so and as a guy who love a girl, he just wanted her to be happy. Maggie went into secondary school, Ah hiok met another guy who is humorous, good looking but perhaps a bit nerdy. They dated and soon they got married.

Just when you think everything is going to get better, it is the start of another nightmare. Maggie got into secondary school and never experience any father love but she didn't like the stepfather and had initially objected the marriage. Ah hiok and Kim seng then had 2 kids and both of them neglected Maggie and that was how Maggie got into drug, gang and smoking.

Because not much care was given to her, her friends gave her care and got her into smoking when she was 13 and joined the 'family' at the age of 14. She tried drug when she was just 15. It was her life at that time. Everyday coming home late and all her parents did was just nagging and scolding.

Her stepfather got so angry at her attitude that time, that he asked Maggie to get out of the house and not to come back. Maggie really did, she went missing for a few days and Ah hiok was worried that during that few days, she went around looking for her and even to the temple seeking for help. On that very day, she went to the temple to seek help from the diety, Maggie came home. She was brought back by the 2 policemen from Malaysia. Maggie went malaysia to hide, maybe not consider hiding but she was almost caught sniffing glue but luckily she and her friends managed to escape.

From that they onwards, Maggie decided to change not because she wanted to but because her consience got to her that her mother brought her up so big not to become like that. She still hate her stepfather though. She left school at 16 and went for rehab, left the 'family' and started working in McDonalds

To be continue...

2011-04-15T07:06:00.001-07:00

15th April 2011

Wow! Can't believe just a week plus plus more and school will reopen. I spent most of my holiday everyday meeting up with her and I simply just love it. Tomorrow, I have a job interview and it is like finally? I mean I waited for my schedule for this fucking hog breath job but it never came. I think even my 2 friends working there already have but not me. But doesn't matter, ain't working there anymore. When I do get a job, I'm so gonna fucking leave this freaking hog breath that so doesn't give you a schedule even when you damn fucking request for it.

Tomorrow, I also have a Dunman high school performance for a donation thing to save the Japan but oh well, it doesn't seem to be organize at all. Until now, I haven't really gotten a confirmation of what time we the performance start. I lost my sideflip. Not sure why but I just can't do it anymore. I mean it is like, I forgotten the technique and more importantly, I don't have the feel anymore. Fuck it, I'm gonna get it back tomorrow hopefully before the performance start.

I'm feeeling so tired now, maybe gonna hit the bed soon. My eyes can't take it anymore. It is like closing!!! Bye bye readers~!!!

Fate Toshie signing off ~~~~ http://xavjojo-loves-nest.blogspot.com

2011-04-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

13th April 2011

Before all this post, I read through some of the past and was pretty much relief that it was all over. I remembered telling a friend that I want to travel to the future and looked back into the past. I'm doing just that right now.

Within this short 3 months, many things happened. We managed to celebrate CNY, my dad's condition worsened and was hospitalized for 2 weeks. My sister surprisingly made it through all the ordeals. 'Lost' my job due to my dad's hospitalization in which I back out all the schedule to take care of him in hospital. Was given chance but screw it up when I fainted and got a 30 x 10cm 2nd degree burnt to my back. 2 weeks of everyday visiting polyclinic to change my dressing.

I got a girlfriend and probably the sweetest thing that came into my life to sweeten out all the bitters I have in my past life. Her name, Jolene. I didn't met her through the sweetest way but Im sure we have the sweetest memories in our mind now. Visit our sweet blog : http://xavjojo-loves-nest.blogspot.com/

I have nothing much to say now, probably that I found a new meaning in life. I mean, I went through mind's hell and made it through to have such a strong mind. I'm gonna help many more with this strong mind of mine.

2011-01-13T19:35:00.000-08:00

14th January 2011

Tonight, everything will be reveal, the truth will come to light. We have come a long way only to stumble across this path. What will happen after tonight? I dare not think, I wish not to know the consequences. I'm afraid of the sudden change of life.

Hopefully he will be forgiving but given the situation, I'm sure he won't be able to take it easy. What I'm scare is he will do stupid things after all even I who is so strong will think of such impulsive stuff when it comes to this situation.

I'm at lost on what to do anymore. I'm worried for my mom and sister. If my dad really chase them out, where will they stay? My relatives is sure not to accept them. Are they really going to live on the streets like what my mom and sister said? I'm worried, I'm scare.

I wanna take a time machine and go back to the start of this problem. I wanna go back 3 years ago. Is my family going to fall a part? I dare not think. I can't really focus on my school assignment.

What if it really happens that it is a chaos if the truth is told? I have to stop school, my live everything will be gone. Will my father be reasonable? Knowing him for so many years, he has always been a selfish , unreasonable person.

I'm really lost, I don't know where to go now. When they are gone, the responsiblity on me is great. Am I ready to face it? Will I be brave enough to stop all this? I wanna stop all this from happening but it really seems like money have corrupted this house. Gambling and impulsive have destroyed this house bits by bits.

Whose fault is it really? Is it my dad? Me? My sister? My mom? I wanna wait up from this bad dream.

2011-01-08T22:53:00.000-08:00

9th January 2011

I just finishes watching 1 litre of tears, although I cried once in few episodes, I was touch but somehow that feeling will be gone after the scene is gone. It is like wierd u know? Anyway the drama was great, I'm glad that I decided to watch the drama. I have also learned a lot of the disease called Spinocelluber Degernation Disease.

I had also went to read an online of the Kitou Aya's diary. This drama is based on her real life, how she struggles to find ways to continue living. She is dead anyway. 25years old she had the disease for 10years since 15. This disease isn't known to progress fast but for her case, it did.

Phone navigation buttons spoil once again. Totally suck really... . Feel more weeks I think desktop will be gone. 2k needed in next week. How to get the sum? Currently no plans for future. Only living my live day by day. There again, I think I'm gonna lose contacts but that doesn't matter. I can pretty much adapt to it. But for my brother? I don't think he can but I really hope he does.

Working at 7 later, I really deciding if I should go to wistma atria now to get my phone fix. My warranty card is so worn out, I don't know if the card can still be used. Should I get a new phone or should I adapt to the live of no phone? Can I actually live without contacting my friends? Actually I think yeah. I don't have much friends plus I usually don't contact them. Quite rare for them to contact me too. Plus I don't see the need? Oh well, gonna talk to my sister about it.

2011-01-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

7th January 2011

I really don't feel like hiding it anymore. It is just painful and frustrating. My mom stood in our way, preventing the family from falling a part. But you know what? I rather my family falls a part than to see my sister suffering in silence, in pain.

This coming chinese new year, I don't think we even have enough cash for new clothes but my elder bro doesn't know. Although through this few months back, I been hinting him of our situation. Hopefully he understands.

Recent training felt weird. I couldn't nail a 10.5 foot pre which I always nail it easily. My handstands, I couldn't control it anymore. Im not sure why. Maybe I'm tired? Im not really sure. Today, there is a gym open. At scape, I'm going in like an hour plus time. Hopefully I get can whack some flips and nuture it outside the gym afterwards.

2011-01-04T18:34:00.000-08:00

5th January 2011

A lot of people have commented that a lot of my blog post is really emo. It is not because I want it to be but it is because that is truly what I felt. I wouldn't say emo is the right word to use but more of my life is sad.

I know it cannot be compare to so many others on Earth. Maybe I been living in this what people from the Africa would called luxury, for too long. Just the beginning of the year and my family have so many problems we have to face. My sis's boyfriend recently literally just threw my sis's belonging out of his house's window down the 4th floor and asked my sister to get out. Just yesterday, he called to apologize but me and my mom won't allow her to continue the relationship anymore.

But looks like that is impossible, not because my sis is deeply in love with him but he threatened my sis that if she break up with him, he will create havoc in my family and the place where she is working. Shaken, my sis definitely wouldn't dare to break up at all. I don't know if I'm a psychopath or what. But I feel nothing. No feelings. But I know I have to help her but Im powerless.

My dad recent earning is all down into 4D again. I still owe people a lot of money. 1k? Im just a student working part time bringing in at least 200 a month. It is easy if I only owe one person that amount but problem is I have total of 8ppl who I owe around that amount. So even if I return person A, person B, C ,D,E will asked " when u want pay me?" Pressure ><

2011 starting is well at all. I recieved news that my house's items will be taken away anything under my sister name and she will be in jail as well....I don't know how to move on anymore. How I wish I could turn back time and perhaps this all wouldn't have happened. Even if I don't move on, the world still will.

Updates

2010-07-31T03:27:00.000-07:00

31st July'10

Start of the new module kept me busy throughout 2 whole weeks. Project after project, nearly everyday, we're doing a presentation and nearly everyday, we're coming up with new or improved product. That's Design Methology for you. Where as the morning class is a little different. A module where I can excel in it. Perspective drawing, something I'm good at. Learnt to draw perspective using some technical skills but I still prefer freehand.

Winnings from the Urban Attack aka Singapore's ninja warrior is still not yet recieve. Mom kept pestering to ask my friend. Nearly everyday she was asking. She now owes her friends 700 and well what can I do? Thoughts of commiting buglarly to solve the cash problems ran through my mind before. But I would be stupid if I do. Dad's 4D and mahjong a 4days a week gambling weekly, adds up to a hefty 2k a month spent on just gambling.

His salary is just a thousand. Withdrawing money almost every week and about a thousand too to substain our life. Pay from performances have also yet to arrive.

Today, only day where I stay at home the whole day. Did some drawings of the keppel road way and played Mirror's Edge.

Due to my lack of time to do housework, which I'm suppose to take care of. My house is kinda in a mess now. Mom's fractured healed but because she was afraid to move her arm even though healed, now her muscles are beginning to grow weak making her movements almost quite an impossible task. Weeks passed now and she is all better but still unable to carry heavy stuff. But at the very least, she is making a good improvement :)

Cash-out

2010-07-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

8th July'10

Finiancial problems again...This is really worrying for me. My family is indeed in trouble, bank is already making its' way to get back the loan of what my sister borrowed which was a few ten thousands. Not going to reveal the amount but it is a lot. That did solved problems in the past but lasted only a few months. My sister also recently made a mistake in her job and got the company to lose some great amount of money, losses. Boss deducted one month of her pay and she have nothing to pay the bank or the bills.

Starting she was just paying 500 a month but now because of the interest, it rose to 2k per month. Well if you think that is bad, she have even bigger problem. She still owe my dad a few good grands. I'm trying really hard to pay off her debts but little I could do. Quited my job to help AMA as a part time and to take care of my family since mom still injure, all housework is currently my job.

Mom addiction to 4D and toto landed her a few hundreds dollar debt too. I seriously don't know what my family did to deserve all this.

It was just a moment ago when I saw the loneliness in my dad's action. He was fiddling with stuff and searching the house for food. It is his only way to ease his boreness. Earlier on he had an argument with my mom about an unpeeled preserved duck egg which is like .... never mind not going to say it. He also mention something about we treated him just like an outsider which really got me wondering. I know what he wants and I'm gonna be a good boy and be filial to my parents. Hopefully he don't get lonely. That is just worrying too.

I'm really worried about my whole family but little as to what I can do. I'm so powerless. Won the competition of Singapore' ninja warrior ' But 2 weeks passed, I have yet to recieve my cash money. And if I do, I'm so gonna give it all to my sister.

An Awesome Day :D

2010-06-26T03:50:00.000-07:00

26th June'10

So much highlights of my life can happened within a day. Today was a special one or perhaps a day I never forget. Went for competition that was somewhat like Ninja Warrior but in Singapore version. Name Urban attack, competitors must go through 6 obstacles which isn't that easy if your not so fit. Go through the prelimaries and got in the final which is today.

We were pretty nervous waiting anxiously for our turn. Our team name was annouced and it was our turn to run through the whole obstacles. Been the last team to take on was an advantage for us. We roughly got the idea of how to run through the whole course plus we know the best timing we have to beat which was 2.58min.

So under that timing is what we were aiming for. The whistle went off and one of my mate got the through the whole course with ease but forgot to hit one of the requirements and went back to do it. But overall, he did well. 59secs he clock to be and it was my turn. Everything was easy just that the last obstacles really slow me down but my last team mate made it up for our mistake and slow speed. Clocking a time of 2.47min.

We won ! And yes we did. 2k money ! As soon as we got down reporters queue up to interview us of our victory. We were ask to do a few stupid things but nevermind victory is just sweet ! Later we went to train a bit, actually it was more of nailing session. I got over my fear of running pre and did 2. One at novena with 10.5foot with height. Another one at punggol with 11foot with a little height.

Of course with such good things happening, bad things bond to happen and we were freaking caught by the police while training at punggol. Usual stuff nothing to talk about. But ruin my training day. Oh forgot to mention too, we sort of clinch a sponsor :D. A eurasian guy notice our movements and thought we were different. So he gave us a name card, ask us to call him whenever we have this event :)

Updates

2010-06-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

23rd June'10

Working has so far been good. With various chance to slack and eat! Yesterday, was my fourth day and was also my first day to do room service. Got 3bucks as a tip at the end of the day. I didn't know hunting presents for 2 girls would be so hard...But nonetheless, me and my friend manage to get it and price was split among 3, luckily...

A big pooh bear for girl A and a small pooh in the blanket for girl B. 3 birthdays this month and I have got all a present ;) Competition for Urban Attack aka singapore's ninja warrior was sweet! Me and my team top it with best timing for team challenge. Although at first we were pretty inmitated by the big guys and firemen, we manage to big their timing by a huge gap of 30secs.

Finals this saturday and hopefully we'll win, get the prize money and everything goes to paying my family's debt. This month's salary will be use to get myself a new bag which have holes in it. Mom's condition isn't any better but at the moment it should be recovering.

Hotel VS Restaurant

2010-06-15T21:49:00.000-07:00

16th June'10

Yesterday was my first day of job and it wasn't that bad at all. Pretty slack compare to Saizeriya. It's a room service job in a hotel located at Orchard . Hyatt is the name, pronounce as Hi-Yat. Quite high class and everything was pretty much slow pace. Instead of speed they expecting, they expect quality. Saizeriya, the place I used to work expect speed instead of quality. A sudden change in working enviroment and pace. Timing for work is also very flexible.

Lucky living in hougang travelling to most place or coming back will always have a straight bus home. But sadly, the department I'm working at is all guys and from what I heard the boss prefer guys to gals. Didn't ask why but no his not gay. There was this guy who look extactly and behave extactly like Stephen. Yes the shocking part. For a moment I thought he was stephen's brother so I ask for surname but not... His much bigger in built, lesser piercing but club, talk, walk and look like him.

My sudden craze for J songs got me searching for it for days. Everyday, I'll be looking and downloading J songs from haoting, a website. Today actually wanted to go out but no choice, mom and dad bought back a lot of ingredients and expect me to cook a feast. But hell fuck! Like I know how to...I only know simple dishes. Luckily mom is helping me out. I'll post up pictures of my cooking tonight ^^

2010-06-13T21:39:00.000-07:00

14th June'10

Came back from chalet days ago. Wasn't up to my expection in terms of fun. But to say that it is dead boring, I would be lying. At first, my purpose of going there was just for the food. Beside our 1st year, I didn't know the 2nd year people who are there. So much awkwardness between us. So after we reached there, we ate, then made our way to e-hub for a movie since we pretty much have nothing to do.

While waiting for movie to start, we went to play arcade. Watched A-Team and it was fucking nice. Good storyline, action scenes but part that i think pretty much crap was that. Whenever they are need things, they somehow have the resoucres. A part whereby they are in a tank. Fell into the water and I have no idea how they got out. Also they have all the food. I mean where do the resouces came from?

But the good storylinbe and action scenes kinda of covered that up. So after movie, most of them went home leaving only 4 of us. Went to a condo's pool side to slack. Talked about ghost stories in which I admit that I was afraid. Kinda scary but then again we talk a lot of other things too. Then the 3 of us, the other one went home too, walked back to the chalet and well talked again!

Then around 5.30am, we all went to sleep. I was woken up by my daily alarm at 7. Tried to sleep after that but couldn't. Went back home later on and well slept through the day and night. Only up to eat dinner and do a bit of housework.

Went for job interview days ago and the boss kinda assured me that I would get the job and that sunday, we would get his assistant to call me but he never did. So well, maybe I won't have the job anymore. I have to really go look for it again.

Stress

2010-05-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

28th May'10

Yesterday, I was totally pissed off...enough is just enough was what I had in my mind. I just can't take it anymore...Just how long more am I gonna bear this? Around the hours I was at home, my family members keep calling out to me. Asking me to do this and that. I felt like I am just their maid. Tell me, how can I not feel that way? I'm really tired...leading such a life but I have to be strong. I know this life I'm leading now can't be compare to the minority who lead or leading worst life than me now...My sister is an example.

24 hours is just not enough.

2010-05-08T00:48:00.000-07:00

8th May'10

24hours a day seems to be long. Time passes by so slow that even 15minutes of doing something we barely enjoy is like hell to us. 24 hours, average person sleep around 8 hours a day, leaving only 16 hours to live a day. Though there are many things which you can complete within 16hours, just how efficiently can you used it?

It all comes down to us, ourself. We talk about time management, managing time to finish our work. But then again, when people talked about time management, they tend to forget that we need time of leisure too.

So it is me, I barely have time of leisure. Or should I say, for this one whole month, I never had a proper outing with my friends. I been working, coming home late and still doing housework and yet I hear people around me complaining that their life suck when what all they do at home is just pure slacking and the sucky part of their life? School.

I never complain about my life, but instead I choose to put all this frustration by typing in this blog. And I will once again pull myself together and get back up. As many would say, never say give up.

I seriously cannot take this anymore, my life. It is just stressful but yet, I have to be strong for I'm the pillar of my family. Money problem keeps coming back again and again. Mom's injuries is not healing and because of her age, it will takes around 4months to heal completely. This means I have to bear with housework for 4 more months and the life of polytechnic, working and my training.

How is 24 hours enough for such pack lifestyle I'm leading? Honestly, life just suck no matter how optimistic I try to be.

Updates

2010-04-30T09:00:00.001-07:00

1st May'10

Right after poly started, I have been really busy. Everyday I'm doing my assignment and many of it which is completed , I kind of redo it again cos I wasn't happy with what I had. Mom's current condition doesn't look well. Big swell on her hand and her appointment is days away. I could push the appointment earlier but I would if I had time. So right now, all I can do is wait. Hopefully a miracle or something happen and her swell somehow magically disappear.

For the past few days, I been sleeping really well. Of course, this goes to show that my current life now is at a point where I'm happy, no stress or anything. Tomorrow I'm going to train with a friend and yes finally I get to train. This busy life really got me. I mean, I haven't have much time to myself. It is like I finally got the time to relax and all. Not even an hour, I have something which I must attend to.

I'm feeling really sleepy now. Probably cos I stayed up late fornight ago just to finish up my work.

15minutes aside to help me sleep

2010-04-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

25th April'10

I read in 8 days that putting aside 15minutes everyday before your dreamland to write down all your worries in a journal or something will get you some nice sleep. Ah....that is what I seriously need the most. Recent juggling of housework, working, training and school is seriously tiring me out but worries kept me awake at night.

Tonight, I'm gonna try that 15 minutes aside method and hopefully no more sleepless night for me. Knocked off work early today just to be home to finish up the housework that was stack through the whole day. As I'm typing this , I have already done all or major.

So much recently, I have outburst of pimples and warm night got me sweating almost every minute. With my bad haircut currently and stupid pimples attacking my face, I have no need to wear such nice clothes anymore.

Money problem is there anymore but soon it is gonna be. I shall not probe any further or I might be thinking up through the whole night about this. Poly's life has been great for me. Very relax, I sort of like it a lot. Wasted a hefty amount of 20bucks on some brush for my art.

Going polytechnic to find girlfriend? I don't think so anymore. I have so little confidence in myself. Not like last time where my confidence level is way high up. Opening asking any random girl's for number just for thrills.

Pretty much I have end all my worries troubling me and my sleep. My body seriously need some good rest. Goodnight!

Family problems?

2010-04-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

15th April'10

Every family has their own problems and I admit my problem isn't such a big one but it is enough to break up the family. The way we are now, the outside, we are happy and we hope it stays like this forever. And applied to many, break up of family is mostly cause by money.

Such complications in the problems that lie. So most of you probably know. My dad sees money as first. He did not enough yet for me to discriminate him and I have to admit, he provide with almost what I need to get to where I'm now. Same goes for my mom.

My dad have been asking my mom to ask my sister to withdraw 1k from the bank and right till now, he still thinks he have 30k but where in reality he only have $40. Everyday my mom come up with reasons to stall. Right now, both my mom and sister have already been push right to the end of the cliff.

Earlier on we went GE Money, to apply for a loan but it was a fail. My sis don't have her salary been put in her CPF. It all came to the last resort. My mom is planning to borrow money from loanshark! And Fuck...no matter how much saliva I'm wasting. She just won't listen.

It all comes down to this. We get money now, we can stilll have this happiness but we gonna have bigger problems in the future. We tell dad, our family breaks up. Either way we go, we all gonna die....I'm so helpless.

In poly, I need a laptop and how am I suppose to get one when such problems is what we're facing.

Crushed

2010-04-09T06:17:00.001-07:00

9th April'10

I woke up feeling all hype up. Hoping to finish everything of my enrolment forms and the medical check up. I went out at 10.30am to visit the central clinic to have my medical checkup. Mom tagged along and she was pretty impatience there.

After the check up, I went to the nearby polyclinic to have my X-ray taken and hopefully to see my left shoulder's x-ray but turns out only they give me an envolope inside containing only paper. Later made the trip back again to the central clinic to give my x-ray and everything was done. I was feeling really hot and can't wait to get home.

My dream was crushed later when I recieved an email telling me that my request to pay my school fees via my dad's CPF is rejected. I quickly called my sister cause she was the one who helped me applied. She gave a call to the customer's service and found out that my dad is already 55 . The official age to withdrawl CPF money out.

The official rejected because the rest was meant to for his retired fund and unless we top up an additional 2k in this CPF, I can't use his to pay my school fees. Where the hell do we get 2k was the first thing on my mind.

Out of choices, we have no choice but to use my sister's CPF but she only have 1.5k inside which only allow me to study a sememster. What we are scared is that because of the insufficient fund for the whole 3years, it will get rejected and ta da, my dream of going polytechnic is really gone.

If they approved, I have to work like hell within the 6months to get 2k and finally used my dad's CPF. The first fall was bad but I'm not giving up. All my hopes are on this >.<

Miracle!!!

Down with a fever

2010-04-08T06:42:00.000-07:00

8th April'10

I woke up feeling a bit sick but I brushed it off and on with my daily chores, new ones. Immediately after I woke up , my mom pestered me to go down to buy some food and well yeah...I did. Later I did some laundry and was starting to feel more unwell. This time, I suspect a fever coming up.

After I threw everything in the machine, I went to cook porridge for my mom and was reminded by a note I pasted on a wall that I still have a lot of things to do. " Buy rice, Go training, Do the polytechnic forms , Medical check up for poly and ID photo. " I went to have a freshing bath first and after that I left to have my photos taken.

And this time I know I developed a fever and decided to visit a doctor. Consulation was less than 60sec and I wonder if the doctor is good. In the end he only prescribed me with only an antibiotics and a cough syrup and I freaking have a fever?! -.- . Wasted my 26bucks.

Never will I visit that clinic anymore. Reached home and came upon the notes again. I can't do anything on the list. I really need some rest but polytechnic enrolment thing cannot be drag further. I have to hand in the whole thing by sunday and if I don't recover and have my medical check up done, I might not enroll into poly at all.

Looks like everything need to be push back and I'm not sure if Epic Jammage at sunday, I would still be going. Just took some panadol and hopefully by tomorrow I'm better.

Porridge I cooked for mom :D

995

2010-04-06T23:13:00.000-07:00

7th April'10

I was talking to my friend on the phone in the living room when I heard a scream. At first I didn't try to care much cos my mom is always trying to get my attention. But I in the end I decided to put down the phone and went to check it out. I was shocked to see her on the floor. I always thought that I didn't care and I have no feelings but after what I saw, I was scare. She was moaning in pain. I remembered that my friend was still on the phone so I rush to tell him that I'll call him back later.

Later I tried to help her up but to no avail. She couldn't move her hand. I called my sister and she instructed me to call an ambulance and so I did. I waited anxiously but they were taking long. " Sorry we're a bit late " as the paramedics came in. I replied " I'm so glad you all know that...." They went ahead and did their stuff. In the mid of it, my mom screamed when they bend her arm down.

I later meet my sister at CGH when my mom was admitted. By that time I was already very calm. Cos I know it is just something small, but because she was old, that's what makes it more dangerous. Soon everything was over. She had a fracture shoulder and minor dislocation.

I went home first cos I had to go poly to get my enrollment package. I was about to go when my sister and mom came home. I went to find my friends and they accompany me go TP to get the enrollment package. I got it and after that we went kovan to play pool.

I also cancelled all my working schedule to stay at home to look after my mom and do all the housework. Actually it is just additional 2 more housework. Cooking and laundry. But laundry is really long cos my mom stack up a lot of clothes. Around 3days worth of dirty clothes. Today I just done the laundry, cooked porridge for my mom. Just hope my mom quickly get well soon.

I want to go out!

My mom's injuries was cause by me. I just woke up, my mom asked me if I want to eat but after what I saw to be my breakfast on the table. I walked away from it. I told her " I'm not hungry "
But I know she knew that I was just being choosy. She later came in and offered to cook noodles for me in which I said ok. After she finish everything, She wanted to do some cleaning up when she tripped over a wire and well that is how everything happened. It was because I was lazy that is why she is in this state.

My friend specs :P

My mom's sling

A cooling evening I saw

My enrollment package :D

Qing Ming Festival

2010-04-03T00:55:00.000-07:00

4th April'10

By now, most people probably already know that I'm already on my way to polytechnic. Temasek, this coming tuesday I'm going for the enrollment thingy and I'm quite blur about the procedures and how it goes about.

Recently I'm into anime again. Ok maybe just a anime, called Hatsukoi Limited. I feel that somehow I can relate my life to it. The anime girls are all cute and hot!

Today, I woke up around 6am to go pray my ancestors with my my big family since it is the Qing Ming Jie. Reached there early but they were all late due to rain. My family decided to take a walk around first. Was amazed by the turtles when I first visited but now I don't. They use to have this big turtle around 1.5m in length but it died years ago. Nothing to look forward when I'm there.

The whole thing was around 1hour plus and we went to AMK to have our breakfast after that. I had minced meat noodles again and yesterday I just ate the one at buangkok.

I feel much better recently...small things is no longer bothering me and I seem to be able to fall a sleep much easier. No longer do I have 'insomnia'.

Write as I feel

2010-03-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

31st March'10

Result is out and my GPA did increase but it wasn't up to my expectation. Tomorrow the poly result will be out and hopefully I get into the course I want. Few days ago, I received a call from my friend saying that one of our friend was on STOMP due to he making some empty threat online for fun. Not only that, he appeared on chinese newspaper too. I was shocked to hear that and didn't know saying bombing a place will lead to a police case.

But what done is done, hopefully people can forgive his mischeviousness. His one of the most mischevious people I met a part from me last time.

Training was runion last week due to heavy rains and this week, I'm simply too tired to train. Everyday I go work and reach home around 1am and always before I visit the dreamland, I tend to think of small things. This small things include my training and a lot of whys. It goes on everyday for hours till I get tired and eventually fall asleep.

Everyday I question my discipline, I question myself daily, almost every hour every second. What is life? Eventually it all falls to individual . What is life to me? How come this puzzle I'm staring at seems complete but yet again I know it isn't. It just bother me.

I can't express what I want in front of others. I find it hard but yet again I want to. I need listening ears and I always been that to others. But when one is willingly to be mine, I don't have that close bond with them to eventually say what I want.

Playing games, doing things I like, like watching porn gets my mind off this stupid thinkings. I'm reading too much into things which I know it is unneccessary. When I talk I know what comes out from me isn't what I wanted to say but it is more to I say cause I have to. I'm so trouble but I can prevent all this from happening but still I can't help it but to think.

Updates between 23 march till 24 march

2010-03-24T21:38:00.000-07:00

25th March'10

2 days ago, my sister reported to work for her first day at the restaurant I'm working at. Before that, I went out with my friends to watch kidnapper and it was a really nice show. Not to be miss for sure. After movie, we went to speedy to plan LAN for a while. But it was only a while as I need to go work.

I almost late because of my friends's walking speed. But manage to get there on time and yes on time but no time to eat. And I only had 2 bread eversince I woke up. Freaking hungry I'm but no choice I have to work on. Psycho my friends to eat at the restaurant and didn't turn out that bad at all. At least I wasn't so bored.

We knocked off quite early that day. Around 10.05pm we clocked out and my sister and I went to have our lunch.

Yesterday, went out with the same clique again but this time with a rare guest, nick. We went to have lunch first and during lunch, we talked a lot of crap just like the old days. After that we went to play pool and I got trash the first round but the rest was ok. Later just like cinderella, clock strike 4.30pm and I went off.

Just like the previous day, yesterday we knocked quite early too. 10.12pm and we went for burger king. But 3 of them seem to be keeping something from me. I actually know a bit already, cause she told me about a surprise few days ago and they kept on talking about the thing no more how? Just came to my mind that one of them even asked me about shirt design too. So I kinda guess it but kept quiet. Turns out to be that way. But they didn't manage to get the shirt for my birthday because the bazaar was over but nevermind.

It is already over and I couldn't care much. Today, I'm going to rot at home doing nothing. No work no nothing. I want to go out train but my mom want me to stay at home to look after the house and laundry -.- . Oh well...just a small request from her, I'll just do it .

Work

2010-03-21T22:31:00.000-07:00

22nd March'10

Miss out an important discussion with mates yesterday due to work...Mom skipped work yesterday to wash clothes in which non of our family memebers will do. Queue appearing every now and then at the restaurant yesterday. Sky and sun didn't turned up and both were on MC but lucky it was fair that it wasn't so busy.

Mr Ng finally helped out in the restaurant yesterday for the first time. Had some heart to heart chat with Diniy after work and heard from my manager that 2 new staff is going to join us in which one of them is my sister. He even said their pretty...Wondering about his taste. My sister pretty? I think she look fine.

Was supposingly to work 12 today but told my manager didn't want to as I need to rest. Came back home last night around 1am and mom told me she saw one of the saizeriya people working at hougang NTUC fairprice. Might go down to say hi to her later.

A group of portugese customers pissed me off yesterday with their what the hell are they talking about and they think I can't speak english. They were like " The business lunch, what are the element in it? " I was like " Sorry sir but I don't get what are you trying to say with that word "business" in front of the lunch. " He got pissed off and the rest of his family started asking the same thing but slowly. Then they took off the business word and said " Ok the lunch, what are the element in it? " I was like what element? If their talking about our set lunch then I understand but they not pointing to any picture or anything. They got pissed off and so did I but I kept on my smile.

In the end they gave up asking and just pointed the food on the men

u they want to have. Later in the night, one of the band member of popular local chinese band Mi Lu Bing came to have dinner with his family. I missed out one of their order and his dad got angry but his son was like " no dad, don't get angry ". I apologise and at the every last minute, the yandao guy from a drama in the 90s came in. He always come to eat. But compare to last time, his much more fatter now and looks much older.

My Birthday Post

2010-03-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

20th March'10

Firstly , I would like to thank those who wishes me happy birthday. This year, I lazy to plan something for my birthday so I will just let it be and will be working today. Brought my sister to the restaurant I'm working at for an interview as a kitchen staff. At least now I won't quit so early cos of her. Her plan to pay off my dad's money using this part time job is the only way we can think off.

Currently I'm looking for another part time job and hopefully the pay there is higher and I won't have to work in saizeriya anymore. I getting sick of it. So many conflicts and politics. No longer it is fun anymore.

Went training yesterday and with more confident and every move I made is almost my best. No bails apart from a small bruise at my little pinky when I execute an uncontrolled sdc to crane. I have also tried dblucy's style of running and it really works. Manage to nail quite a number of stuff. Felt quite happy.

Since today is my birthday I will sing a birthday song to myself :D

Happy birthday to u

Happy birthday to Xavier

Happy birthday to u

And my wish is to find love and also ace in my training :D

Post Date 17th March

2010-03-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

17th March'10

Life has been quite boring for me. I been training and working for the past few days. Many have quitted and the lively Saizeriya I'm working at now is no longer lively. Boss has been saving up loads of money by having so little people working during peak hours.

2 days ago, the restaurant was almost pack, nearly full house and there was only 3 people working outside. And the 3 of us have to do server, order, cashier and attend to customers request. Fucking busy. We were running around. I really don't get it, so many people quit and why doesn't boss want to hire more people? Instead our request for more people to the boss is turned deaf

I might want to quit this lousy job soon or I just look for another job. Training has been going well with me. I have been overcoming fears and no bail has been obtain. Building up my base power for my legs and it is so far going well.

Just called my mom and got news that she got the job as a clear plate auntie at the new NTUC fairprice kopitiam. She is working to pay off her debts. Finally I'm happy she took that initiative but I doubt she be working long. From young, her longest job she stayed was only a month. She used to change jobs so requently that her CPF is like nothing.

Few more days to my birthday and I don't feel like celebrating. Plus I lazy want to organize anything. So I'll be working on that day. Sometimes how I wish life is more carefree.

Gambling

2010-03-12T16:53:00.000-08:00

13th March'10

Yesterday I went to watch Alice in Wonderland 3D. Cost me 14bucks and at first I didn't know it was 3D and was thinking that 14 bucks for that movie is way too expensive. But turns out to be 3D. Must say the movie was nice but got me nauseous cause of the glasses. Because it was 3D, for the best experience is to sit right at the front but we got the backseat and so decided to move our butts to the front but still not front enough.

I'm feeling so stress, maybe this stress is not needed. Soon, I can see my family breaking up. All over gambling problems. I just can't bring myself to badmouth them since they are also very good and apart from their bad gambling habit, they have no much other bad points. Dad had 60k in bank. Mom took 9k to clear her debts and dad didn't know. Sister took 23k to clear bills. And yes all this within a year. If dad were to find out that they took the money, I don't know what he'll do. He is the kind of person who sees money more important than family.

I'm thinking of the worst now. I love my sister and mom and if they were to divorce, to not be a burden to them and for my study sake, I must follow my dad. Might be good but our relationship ain't that well. I really don't want to see my family breaking up. I can see that it is under process now.

Damn and my mom even thinking of borrowing money from loanshark to put in the bank to have it back to the original sum just to help the family stay happy. Sister cried thinking of all this problem. Seeing them sad just make me sad too. Brother didn't know a thing. Stress between the 3 of us is enough. I feel so helpless, I'm doing nothing, not sharing any burden. My parents seriously have gambling problems but yet neither of them wants to admit.

I don't know how long this secret will be keep.

Back after months

2010-03-10T16:47:00.000-08:00

11th March'10

After months of absent, I'm back to update again. First, I'm gonna start with major events happening this past few months. I nearly lost 2 friends with one, a reason I don't even know. I have no idea why she is piss off with me. Asked for the reason but she's not willing to tell me. It kinda disturbed me for weeks due to me not knowing why. Another one of my friend, due to a message. I don't feel like talking about this one but yeah, it all started out from a message. What a lame way to start one.

During CNY, I bought my clothes but with the price exceeding 300. Kinda a changeover for me. Which isn't a big change to me but to others maybe.

Start of this year wasn't a good one for me. I lost my phone, my computer spoiled, I nearly lost 2 friends, I had handphone bills already exploded with it counting up to 420 but paid 160 so left 260. And now, it is a point where my family is going to break up soon. I don't know how to handle all this. Outbreak of my pimples is an example of the stress I'm into now.

I keep thinking about many things. One of which is my attitude in my training. Yes I got technique but I still need power and always, I didn't train my power. Time to focus more on my power rather than technique. I need a good foundation of power to move on to a higher level.

During this time, my phone lost, computer spoiled, I totally had no contact with anyone except for my neighbour. Everyday, I'm at home drawing(picture above), studying or I'm out training alone and I been hanging out a lot with my siblings. And yes, this is my life for a few months. Kinda no life but what to do?

Oh forgot to mention, after watching 'Hai Pai Tian Xin', once again, I'm a fan of rainie yang. So I went to buy her 'Yu Ai' album. Also have they gave me a poncho but with the word 'Rainie' at the back.

There still much more, but I'm just lazy to type it all out. Shall end here.

2010-02-24T01:10:00.000-08:00

24th February '10

Over at my neighbour's house now typing this post. Blog has been dead for a few months, wonder if anyone bother to check for updates. I have so much to share but I know I can't type now... If I do, I'm so gonna take up a lot of his time. Main thing now is, all form of my communication with my friends is lost and I only have this taiwanese idol drama " hai pai tian xin" to entertain me.

Fate

2009-11-30T02:06:00.001-08:00

30th November'09

Mom's been complaining about her dentures ever since she came home, the machining filing has made her lower denture lose. Making chewing almost an impossible task without coming off. How unlucky can I get to get locked outside my own house with no one at home. Phone dropped yesterday by accident even after my phone is already partly spoil. With mute mode when talking to people, I just can't hear a shit as to what their saying. 500 free messages is going to be soon gone in a few days, mass messaging friends.

In school, during a 3hours break time due to class test and our class is cancelled. Mates decided to give Tampines Mall a visit as to past time. Had fun playing, daring each other to do things. Successfully sabotaged a friend by getting my friend who is the loser to a game to take number from the girl. Time moves on fast and soon, we started taking gay and stupid pictures for fun. Played again and lost. Had to go up to a girl and tell her that her pants should be the colour of my friend's bag.

With my mates following behind, I gathered up courage to tell her but was laughing my head off and told her in a while during my laughter. Words can't be heard clearly and probably she thinks I'm mad. Couldn't wait to walk away from her when I finished my sentence. Fun day at school and back at home...

Came to my doorsteps and to realize I forgot to bring keys and calling to mom was a no need to even try. Siblings and dad is working their heads off with me messaging my sister and realize mom's phone battery is dead. Leaving me no choice but to sit at staircase alone and my thoughts starts to wonder.

2days ago while working, seems to be a fate arrangement that I met a girl so familiar in which she finds me familiar too. But it was also decided that the link between us was lost. Borned as to what a cat's instinct, I can't helped but to keep thinking of where we met before but to no avail. As I continued on texting her, slowly, my senses, I kinda forget how she looked like. And slowly I think we never even have met before.

Fate arrange stuff and we make it happen. It was fate that I have met stanley that had totally changed my entired life. Who knows what I'll become if I didn't know him.

Living a life as to what it is now is my own decision, arrangement was made, chances were missed and future is for me to decide. Living in the present is what I live for.

Simplest is the simplest way

2009-11-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

28th November'09

Here I'm speaking from my own experience of my 18years of life. Though it may not seem long enough but it is for me long enough to understand.

How far would one go to obtain a understanding so important to that one self that he/she finds enlightenment in it? Understanding something is important in life but yet when one finds the enlightenment in understanding, one will go for more. I believe that though it's important, somethings are meant not to be exposed or understand. It's like how God, we can never understand it. It's like how wind, trees and every natural things exist we can never understand it.

We, humans have a complex mind and it's because of it, that we overlooked the smallest details. Ask yourself this question, are you happy with your current life? For some, yes but that is because they don't aim high and living the simplest is just happiness. For many, answer is no for them. They just want better to be happier.

How can we not be happy when we humans have basically everything we need to survive? Imagine yourself lost in an island alone, you know rescue won't be here but just surviving with the basic needs is just enough. More than enough to be happy.

Misunderstanding may occured reading my post. But understand this that a opportunity arrive is the correct time to climb. So just accept where you are now, what you have now and only go further when you know you can.

Think of what you want, go for that, be happy, have fun, experience life and this is what we are in the world for.

Worth it? You decide

2009-11-24T22:13:00.000-08:00

25th November'09

Maybe this is going to be the few of my very last post. Monitor of my computer has been twitching a bit violently ever since yesterday. Today I had my 2.4km but although on the result, it may seem that I passed, I actually failed. Teacher cheated by letting us running 4 x 400m and for the remainder 2 rounds, she add 3mins in. Just the 4 rounds, I had a roughly 10min timing already. There wasn't even a chance that I can pass. To some, adding in 3mins for the final 2 was a bit unworthy since their timing can do better. But majority like that idea. Felt a bit uncomfortable lying to my ownself.

I passed, I passed but when in reality, you failed dude! While on the running track, a fight broke out between 2 mates. During running, while on the 3rd lap, 2 jokers over took us including the fighter. While overtaking, they swing my arm as well as the fighter's arm. The second one came and did the same but with more force. This time the force impacted the fighter's ipod to fall on the floor breaking his temper as he lunge a punch directly into the second dude's face.

Luckily miss a bit as it brushes pass his face but a few more and his was on the floor. Kicks were then follow, everything happened so fast, but luckily classmates running pass help to stop the fight.

I think it was a fight not worth it. Though admitting that the joker's jokes or pranks sometime went a bit far but still ipod falling on to a rubber mat and at worst, it only suffer a few scratches, he got beaten up for that? How ridiculous. His punches had let me saw his anger, not in the ipod but with his jokes, in the eyes, I had enough. So it was more of a chance to bash him up good. That is what I think, probably most's gonna agree with me if they had seen it. Seriously speaking, I don't really like the joker. His joke irritates people and even when they get angry, he continue with more scarastic remarks. Pretty much like me last time.

New song on my blog, though I can't pretty much understand what it means or what the hell is the singer's singing. It have sentimental value to me. Like how people have this feeling when they hear some songs.

Updates

2009-11-20T02:51:00.000-08:00

20th November'09

It has been a while since my last post, more than a week ago if I'm not wrong. Quite many things happened and mostly, I wanted to blog about it but in the end, I just couldn't find the time to do it.

Few days ago was my nafa test and was a bit disappointed by the result judging that I, after all practice parkour. But after knowing some of the 5 stations's result, I know that I have not enough training yet. What got me to this state I'm in now is just my good techniques.

Pull up, a standard one of just 11. I think, I'm the second one in class. A classmate pull off a 20 not standard pull up. Well teacher doesn't care but still, I must stay true to myself. Sit-up, I think I top my class with 53 sit ups. Sit and reach, as usual, always a C. Many cheated but yet again, I must stay truthful. Standing board jump of 251cm and again second in class. Shuttle run, a timing of 9.83s with a bad start, a trip and many slides. Didn't bother to try second time since I already got A. And lastly next week, I be taking 2.4km and I think I will fail miserably.

Just yesterday, me and a few friends decided to play a game and loser have to get a girl's number in which we pick the target. I was lucky to lose first and asked a pretty one. Later on the game, it got really bastard as the loser were asked to ask a fat girl for number. Quite thrilling but still really bastard. This game is surprisingly boost my self-confidence and today, I asked for a girl's number which I expected won't get it. But asked for the thrill anyway.

Went out later in the night to slack with some friends and at the same time, copy some notes for my own reference. Shall end this post, lazy to continue

Just some of my thoughts

2009-11-11T00:50:00.000-08:00

11th November'09

When one did something bad to you, wheather physically or verbally, you want something to befall on them and when that happens, you feel 'shiok' and breathe a sigh of happiness that they got their just desert. That is precisely what happened a few weeks ago when one of them got his. Talking bad things about what I did, I was hoping he got what he deserve.

He was carried around like a fool by a few who he thinks he feel inferior to them and tossed right into the bin. Though he was smiling but I know that smile was to make it look like they were having fun when he actually had a look on his face that he isn't enjoying it at all. I'm still actually quite sick of some Singaporean that they can't accept us. Unless they try it theirselves, they never understand and never will. Saw a few documentary on it and even the reporters theirselves, don't understand but at least they respect.

Few days ago, a outcast in the class gave me attitude when I asked him a question. Though for quite a few times, I have laughed at him for some bastard jokes my mates made on him. I don't say bastard thing to him cos I understand that this kind of peeps are pretty sensitive. Just today, he talk to me and I was pretty much kind enough to give him a response as to let him know, I treat him nice. Can't blame him though since he always get verbally insulted. I really pity him but maybe it's just because of his looks.

His white mix black messy hair with unshave mostache, probably make him look like he is a lazy person plus, he loves attention. Understandable as to why he seek so much attention. Lack of attention given to him and always deem invisible in class and coincidentally, he is my neighbour's NS mate. Another coincidence is that my brother actually beat up his little brother during primary school. How coincident is that?

My neighbour told me that he lack of friends and often get bullied even while serving NS. Both fat dude but at least my neighbour's look still refreshing. With clean shave mostache and a sense of average fashion. Though occasionally, I do seek attention but will hold myself back, cos I know I ain't that lack of attention compare to many of my friends.

Just had a refreshing haircut, a new hairstyle as I'm very tired of keeping long hair. Going out with a friend to watch a movie. :) Ja ne!

Working in Saizeriya

2009-11-03T21:25:00.000-08:00

4th November'09

My work life have now taken over my entertaining life. With nothing to blog about since nothing worth the mention is to be post here. I shall talk about my working place. Well, already have in mind who I wanted to condemn. Been in that restaurant for nearly 2months and I have become closer to some. But there is this one guy whom I seriously dislike. The chef, Mr Ng. He is still single for his age and his like already near 40? He doesn't talk to guys and is very friendly with girls in the restaurant. Kinda pervert I must say. I have never exchange a conversation with him before.

The kitchen staffs told he not to critizie about his food as he doesn't like. So I assume he is someone with very high confident that his food is fucking nice but in reality, it taste normal, average or sometimes below average. Eversince he introduce the 'Squid Ink Spa' to the menu. Many have ordered it and many didn't finished it. Guess this is how bad his spaghetti is. Serious enough, I think someone need to tell him or at least pinpoint out his bad point or if not this continue, many will grow to hate him.

We have many managers in our restaurant which make the system mess up. Politics as to who should manage what is already starting up. Mr Ng, this guy held such a big position and thinks he doesn't need to help out beside cooking as and when he likes. Please come on, even my japanese boss sometimes helped out with clearing tables and what he do? Stand around looking like he is the damn boss.

Almost everyone do their part in restaurant but only he sits/stands around talking and going out for walks. And he fucking get paid for doing that? Seriously, pissed me off watching it. I think the boss should just fire him and hired a new chef. Losing him doesn't mean much since his food kinda suck.

I shall end this post and go to sleep LOL

Packed

2009-11-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

2nd November'09

Packed schedule, didn't know I will be so busy since I started working. No time to train at all. Just totally fuck up but felt an increase in leg power from the long duration of standing and walking around during work. Monday and tuesday, full day out with school and work at night. Wednesday, school for half a day with project to catch up after school. Thursday, school for whole day. Friday, school for half day and appointment for my skin treatment. Saturday, working full day, though only sometimes. Sunday, either I have something on or I company my bro out.

It is just so packed, hardly anytime to train at all. Though wednesday is the only day, I just seem too tired to even go out and train. Skipped school today due to diahhorrea and working in the evening later. Yesterday went for a zombie filming thing for someone's project. Will upload the pictures in facebook once I got the pictures from the photographer. Couldn't act well as the director wanted me to be piss off. But I just darn can't do it, no one or it's probably just my mind that I will never get piss off or really angry at someone.

No one have so far in my 18 years of life make me feel super piss. Had fun filming the things and did some simple jumps but because of the height, it had me for a while preparing before making the jump. School has been really tired for me and now, I think I'm gonna go for a small nap before I go for work.

Some craps

2009-10-30T03:31:00.000-07:00

30th October'09

Just got bitten by a mosquito on the foot and it fucking itchy. Didn't train at all for this week as my schedule is too pack with school and work. I have only a day to train which is wednesday but I'm just too beat to do so after all, for the past 3 days before wednesday, I'm working and studying full time. Didn't want any unwanted bail due to fatigue.

It's just so common is Singapore that many still don't accept Parkour but that doesn't bother me much. What bother me was, more and more newcomers learning this Art but they just do not understand or seem to know what they are doing. It's like do only, and if they think deeply, they will go. I do all this for what?

Parkour may look like something easy to do but it requires deep concentration or focus to do it. Not easy if you ask those who doesn't train parkour to do. This Art is not like BMX, skateboarding this kind of art but more to discipline like Shaolin Kungfu, Ninjitsu, Martial Arts. Common problems with typical people nowadays is they are question as to why do we jump around stupidly like we have no life.

We train our own purpose, it's a form of self knowledge only understandable to those who practice itself. Like bruce lee's jeet kune do. If you look through some of it's old video. Some of it students practice this art for the mental part and not the physical part. Commonly mistaken, his kind of art may seem like self-defence but it's actually more towards the mental. Like how Parkour is. We do things at our own limit training our mental. Training our fear. In Parkour, we aim to be strong both physically and mentally.

In whatever ways, we train towards that.(Physically and mentally la) If you practice for fun with no aim nor purpose. Then try isolating yourself to some light movements training. Pretty much what I always do when I first discovered buangkok.

When ones practice an Art, audiences want to know what is going through the mind. This is how some started. Experience to feel.

This post is written to let people understand more. Please do understand more about it before talking crap about it.

Updates

2009-10-25T19:59:00.000-07:00

26th October'09

It has been a while since I last wrote. Many things have happened over the past few days but then again, important stuff worth mentioning on blog is just so little. The other day, a saturday, I skipped work to go training with stanley after I bumped into a small obstacle. Was on my way to work when I found out that I have actually forgotten to bring my name tag along. This name tag is so important that it consist of my meal and the duration I work. But I know if I were to go back then, I would be late. So I chose not to work on that day and instead when training.

We went bishan to train and we started out with some proper warm-ups like how the beginners always do in workshops. Jogging, side to side monkey, cat walk and some light movements. Was really tiring after the warm-ups but I think that is what warm up is for. As later on, I found it easier to go at my full potential in a clearer mind state. Didn't nailed much things but felt good about my tired legs after training.

We later on when suntec to meet up with ashton to have our dinner and slack around. It's been a long time since I last slack with my friends. Saturday end quickly and was back into work yesterday, working full shift. Saw the 2 new gals at work yesterday and honestly speaking they aren't that good looking but who am I to judge who is pretty or not. Since after all I ain't no some handsome guy girls will drool over.

The same, sunday ended pretty quickly too and monday came which is today. Couldn't wake up in the morning , so I decided to skip school for a day and have a good rest before going to work in the evening. Financial problems have hit my family again. Really stress, but instead of running we have to face the music. Shall end my post here.

Clearer

2009-10-20T23:23:00.001-07:00

21st October'09

Went through a few days of hell both working and studying. Worked full day on sunday and woke up early in the morning 6am to go school and after that, straight to work till 10.30pm. Got me really exhausted but glad since it's already over and I can have a few days of good rest before the cycle repeats again.

I have realized that I have become more observance than before. I guess I did, probably because previously my life evolved around the fun world and I was never taking things seriously. Over the month that I worked, I witnessed many of which I never notice before in human.

I have also notice that singaporeans now are more gracious when on public transport. I have yet to found why some of them don't bother to give up their seat. But here is my reason why I wouldn't want to give up my seat. Reason one, most of the time when there is an elderly man or woman board the bus, I will be too tired to give up my seat to them. Meaning, I went for either training or I'm really tired, so tired that I really need to seat. Second, I just hate it when whenever I gave up my seat, people stared like I did something wrong. Tried to ignore many times but those glares eventually outweigh my graciousness.

I'm still trying to change though so next time it is my graciousness that outweighs the stares. All this while, for this one month I have notice and clearly understood how human's mind work. It just feels great. A great feeling.

Here is an example of my thinking last time. I tease my friend and went overboard. He felt hurt but I couldn't give a shit. I was then asked, what if I'm him? I replied to that person saying, if it happens to happen to me, then on that day, I will find a good time to have my revenge. That person later on added that he is helpless and won't think the way I would but why would I still do it? "Simple, that is his problem, it is his fate arrangement for meeting a person like me." At that point, I knew I said something selfish but I don't care since it is not happening to me right now. That time although I have already learn to put myself in other people's shoes but I never experience it and thus I don't know and simply doesn't care.

Get it? A very common thinking among some bullies and that above example was made up. Though knowing what they do it wrong, they look their victim as inferior and normally those who are weak will look at themselves as inferior to the bullies. Lost concentration and shalln't continue.

2009-10-15T04:48:00.000-07:00

15th October'09

Yesterday, I learnt how to fold a shirt in a few simple steps from this link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOHHQMQBd5s

Quite helpful for me actually since I'm the one who is always folding the clothes for my family except for my sister's. Went to see some window movie maker guide and realized that country in Asia must use PAL for better quality and country in the Western must use NTSC and the Middle east can used both. I felt so bored, that I started typing 'How to do this , how to do that' searching for vidoes in youtube.

Wanted to go for a light training in the morning and after it then go school but who knows that I was too tired and overslept. Woke up around 10am and have not much time except for preparing myself and going to school punctually.

Aiya, fuck this post is useless. Just wanna share the T-shirt folding technique. Bye

Updates

2009-10-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

12th October'09

Had a blast last weekend. Today's post gonna be short as it is just some updates on what going on in my daily life.

Saturday, 10th October'09

Was pretty bored till 4pm, Hooray, time for fred's birthday party at Yio Chu Kang's grassroot place. A small club name club48 . Found out fred's mom work there only when I saw her. Pretty young for a mother of 21 I must say. And she look good at her age. Most of our time spent there were playing the $1 dollar pool and I'm quite happy my pool skill is now more sharpened. Found a mistake and it is a small mistake. Used to not really grasp the stick tight but only used 3 fingers to hold it. Realized the huge different when I used all fingers. More control compare to using just 3 fingers. Later, we played card game with a drink in front of each of us. The rules were a little kinky. But we all enjoyed it. Found out , it was quite late and decided to go home.

Sunday, 11th October'09

Woke up pretty early to accompany my mom to get her dentures and in which after that, we went straight to her mom's house to celebrate her 90th birthday. Quite a crowd there, almost like chinese new year. We ate and well do nothing much beside, watching TV, chitchatting and watching the toddlers play. Soon 2 clashes of noise from 2 malay's wedding just a few blocks away from each other. Quite noisy but amusing to watch. At least, it serve a kind of entertainment when I'm bored. They were really creative, using the horn from the bikes to make a rythm for the wedding. After a few hours, we inclusive of my sister and bro went to kbox again to well sing. Had 2 of our neighbour tagging along. Sang my heart out and realized time passes really fast with it. Since it was a buffet, I tried to eat as much as I could and ended up I bomb everything out in a toilet right after an hour when we left the kbox to go home.

Monday, 12th October'09

Today, I decided to meet up with my friends but was late so decided to go on my own when azam's group saw me and well, we went together for the check up. Heard that it was 4 to 5 hours long but actually, it was only 2 to 3hours. Took a lot of test and what really pisses me off was the guy withdrawing blood for a bloodtest for all of the recruits. He had serious attitude problem and I could tell when I heard him talking inside the room to his mates. When I was inside, ready to withdraw my blood, he sighed and showed me that face that really pisses one's off. Shook it off but he continue to piss me off by doing my bloodtest unwillingly. He later saw my medical report indicating that my father had hepatitis and he fucking said " Huh? wah lao leh...your father got hepatitis why never say earlier? *tsk* ! ". FUCK him, seriously what a guy to take a bloodtest for me.

Later we all went for further check up and was put to Pes D, meaning that my pes is still currently unconfirm and have to wait for further result. They took my blood for a test to see if I have hepatitis as it is a inheredity illness.(sorry for my bad spelling) Took an IQ test that lasted for more than an hour. After that, I went to have lunch with friends and went home after that. Needed some sleep and here I'm typing this post for 30minutes already. Tired as I'm now I'm going to take a afternoon nap.

Ah beng ah beng ah....tsk tsk tsk

2009-10-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

7th October'09

Yesterday after work, when I was alighting from the bus, I saw this very young couple roughly the age of 14. Both Ah lian and Ah Beng. So while alighting, the ah beng walked with his arm swinging a bit like how normally ah beng will. They were playing basketball with their friends, another group of ah bengs at the basketball court behind my block. That ah beng and his friends were later involved in a fight below my block. Coincidentally, one of the guy that find trouble with me once was involved too. They bashed up a old guy which is someone my mother's know. Poor dude, he bled but heard from aunties around that it was the old guy that started it all. How it started, I have no idea. Couldn't care much, the old guy was later sent to hospital for treatment and the groups of ah beng, I have no idea.

Today, a day off from work, I decided to pay stan's house a visit at the same time train. Okay, actually was more to training and re-filming of our old video. The whole re-filming process was long but at least it was fun. Stan tried out many angles and honestly some were nice. I have also realized, I have more concident in my movements. Which is great. This re-filming of 'The Past' video which is just posted in stan's account is to help compare ourselves to our oldself. Of course improvement there is but we're more concern about how we overcome the obstacles using different technique.

Again, ah bengs....While filming our first scene, I notice a group of ah bengs staring at us from the playground. But not all look like one. So they started shouting sacarstic remarks to us. From a distance, I notice a small boy, with a very beng hair cut walking towards us with his hand swinging and on the phone. Looks like he is calling for backup but before he can, he was stopped by someone elder but still young lah. He pulled the small ah beng away and I took this chance to quickly get this over with and go off before anymore trouble comes.

Ah beng, ah beng, something childish and if you realized it, many of your past ah beng friends have become a guai kia or out of this child game. Now, I only see mostly ah bengs, ah lian the age of 13, 14. So why do ah beng want to be ah beng? I believe many know why ah bengs want to be ah bengs. They want to gain fame through the shortest way. So each fight they win, each time they are fiercer, the more fame they get. And obviously, they get the ah lian who is well some, quite pretty and mostly ugly. But do they know they are being laugh at?, compared to other countries's gang life? Gang life in China, Italy, Japan and etc. They aren't afraid of police. They don't run upon seeing them, they fight and this factor sadly has already own singapore's gang life.

See police, they run and the only thing in their mind? Finding troubles to gain fame. Seriously, think through this and you find this hilarious. They purposely get into fight for the smallest reason that are pretty much laughable. Staring? WTF they kena stared, they want start a fight. Please, then what for they wear until so attractive? To attract attention right? So stared at them, you are offending them? Lame reasons. I think I should stop writing and end this post.

Fun day :D

2009-10-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

4th October'09

Today at work, because it's a sunday, it was really busy. Not much time to slack around but busy is good I guess... At least time fly much faster. Soon it was time for me to knock off around 4.05pm. Had restaurant's 5 piece spicy chicken and made a move. I headed down to buangkok later to meet up with fred and rest for the final jam but never did I expect that when I reached there, 2 policemen were talking with them. I initially met up with richie and ws who had no idea something happened too. So we went to slack around whilist waiting for fred and rest to be free from them.

Was quite long and soon we all met up for dinner and a small discussion of what happened. It seems like they were been caught for making some sort of handmade bomb due to a few mates. I have no idea what it is. After that we went to ashton's house for a swim and jacuzzi. Couldn't swim, after all, I last swam when I was primary 5. I could still swim then but seems like I have forgotten how to. Was afraid to kinda enter the pool first but after that I made several jump as I got comfortable with it.

Talk cock, they drank and I didn't cos I afraid my rashes will come up if I drink too much. Happened quite a few times when I had a little too much. But I don't know when it start but years ago when I drank, I didn't have any rashes. Wierd but I kinda miss alchohol... Ending this post with shiokness from today...woohoo!

A Day

2009-10-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

3rd October'09

Yesterday for the first time I broke my first plate at the restaurant I'm working at. Seniors and the boss weren't angry(luckily), instead they helped me clear my mess. Was really grateful to them. I asked the guy at the table if I can clear the plates on his table and he said yes. But because the place was really cramp and he sat in a way that it's was quite impossible to reach the plates inside. So I had to do some sort arcobatic standing on one leg to reach the inner plates. Difficult, I asked the sir sitting to move aside but he turned deaf ear to it. So I had no choice to try to reach for the plates. I grabbed it and when I lifted it up, the plates slide off and well, fell to pieces near the customers around.

Today, had a day of fun. Went to a friend's new house and well to my surprise, beside a gym, a pool and whatever you expect at a condo house, his house is fucking small! His room is like 3/4 of my room and his kitchen, speechlessly small...At the pool, an accident happened with my friend. He kicked another one of mates out of fun and well, tore the flesh between his big toe and the second one. Pure ownage. Hard to imagine, wait no. Impossible to imagine how it happened at all...How can a simple kick lead to this? 89bucks went spent glueing up his wound at a nearby clinic.

On the way home, another mate sms to meet me and I had him joined me, my brother and friends since the place we going were the same. Been's a while since I last saw him and we at quite a chat. 10pm, after a small smoking session with him and my bro, we went home. Tired but at least all this activites made my day. Haven't had such fun since I started working.

Updates

2009-09-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

1st october'09

I was rubbing oilment on my mom's tired neck when I notice my toilet's door was making a lot of noise. A metal piece clashing with the door continously. I brushed it off as a strong wind and continue. "Eh you felt that?!" my bro came rushing out from the room and I thought he was oversensitive. I went in to the room with him and yes, a strong tremor was felt. Mirror hanging on my wall was moving vigourously and I thought at first, it was just a strong wind but stupid of me to think that. As no wind was there at that time. The 3 of us rush out to the living room where we have 2 fish tanks with water and of course fish. The water was moving from side to side, even the tank with no fish was the same. With so many proof, we couldn't deny that it was indeed a tremor.

I went to the kitchen and looked down at a few groups of teen who were playing bastketball. They didn't seem to notice and well guess only people who sat, saw things moving will know. We went out of the house and well as expected a minority of families have evacuated to the ground level. We couldn't care much as after a minute or 2, it has calm down. Later news reported, indonesia having a seriously earthquake measuring 7.9 which was disatrous. Of we, singaporean have nothing much to worry about but I pity those who are in a after earthquake situation. Of course this proves that we should start saving Earth now and be green for the sake of our living condition.

This morning, around 9.30am, a tremor was felt again. Yeah, minutes before I type this post. I was using facebook when I notice the mirror hanging right 90degrees of where I'm facing is shaking vigourously. Soon the chair I'm sitting on starts to vibrate. Of course I know it was a tremor. I shouted to my mom and well, she didn't believe at first but only when I show her the fish tank, she then choose to believe. It was only for a while, nothing much to be worry about.

Just came back from temple with my mom as I have agree to go with her since I have no work. She seems happy that I'm going with her, afterall, its been a few years since I last been there. Just saw my result for the exam and it was very disappointing. From the starting of my ITE year exam till now. My GPA dropped constantly. From 4GPA to 3.76GPA to now 3.46GPA...!!!!!!! Quite disappointing I must say. Hope to work hard and get A at the end of this year.

A Dream & A Birthday

2009-09-27T18:00:00.000-07:00

28th September'09

This is going to be a long post, a post which include my dream and my bro's birthday. I got everyone to meet up at my house and well one of my friend was late. Strangely, I feel much comfortable around them. So we took some photos for fun and after that we went off to ang mo kio for a game an hour of pool. After that we went to walk around AMK hub and bought some drinks and breads to ease our hunger and thirst.

Time passes really fast as it was already 5pm. Chye lee, my neighbour also my friend, drove us to orchard cineleisure for a time at kbox which we enjoyed. Quite worth it, I must say, 23 bucks for food and singing and drinks are discounted to 2.50bucks along with the dinner buffet package. Of course 2 of my friend were first time here and were afriad to project their voices out when singing. Encouragement went around the room as they finally open to sing. Wasn't that nice I must say but well I'm not in any position to say them too after all, I can't sing but who cares. We're all here to enjoy after all.

So we ate and sang all we can from 5.30pm to 10pm. Ended up all of us pay 35bucks each. Tired we all decided to went home. Caught a cold after a cooling ride behind chye lee's lorry.

Now for my dream, it seems like a message, mysterious and wierd. Ok so here is how it goes. *Trying to recall* . I forget how it all started, but I was training around my area when I saw cp. He was doing a lazy vault. I had a chat with cp and after that I went training on my own when suddenly my enviroment turn into I'm on the bus. I'm not sure who I'm with but I was sitting infront of this guy on the upper deck of the bus. I saw a statue, which seems like an cement made explosion but turns out to be a kind of bloom with cemented dove around it. "Beautiful" I commented to the mysterious guy next to me.

For some reason, I alighted the bus with that guy and as we walk, I saw several coffin been covered beside several churh. I was stopped by a old guy riding a bike who later warned me that I have offended several spirits and their here to make my day worst. His words got me confused and afriad. He added on "Your bloodshot eyes have proven that" . After that I woke up feeling uncomfortable around me. I tried to sleep but to no avail. So I went to have a drink and well pee. Back to sleep as I was in another dream that seem related.

I met this China girl at a swimming pool. I asked for her name which I forgot. We were eating over a wooden table like the ancient times. For some reasons, we were talking about exterminating a curse. After that, strangely I went to shower? Beside the table where we were eating. I opened the door to find myself at a library with a group of students who were doing some puzzle solving shit. I went to help them and half way through, I recieve a call from a mysterious caucasian girl which I strangely don't know her but talk to her like I know her for very long time. She told me about the location where the curse is. Next thing I know, I ran to the nearest bus stop in which I apply parkour to overcome several obstacles.

Boarded the bus with a team that appear out of nowhere, while in the bus we were thrown out half way due to some reason I don't remember. Next time we did was lame as we tried very bus to get on every bus we could but were thrown out each time. "We're running out of time" I told my team and we then decided to run to the location. I don't remember next what happened but we were in a building, a room where we were discussing about a plan. I knew they were coming so I went up to hide without my mates knowing. Soon I heard gunshot, 2 blacks came in shooting us and well we return fire of course. I came down and fired several shots at one of the black guy's chest but his still not down.

All of my mates were down except for me and a friend who assume I was dead as he ran for his life but not without lighting the whole place in fire. I escaped through a hole and out. I met him and asked him why did he abandoned his mates. He then told me , that he believed in me and that why. He added "It all started with you, we all did it for you" as he turned and walked away. I found myself wondering around a place that seem to be so chaotic, so wear out, a city like it just been a through a great war. I woke up after that. Well what left me wondering was what the old man told me. I offended spirits. Well you may think its just a dream but for this few days, I been dreaming about spirits, well taking revenge on me and for this quite few times, I woke up shock.

Ending this post with some photos I took :P

One Giant Leap

2009-09-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

26th September'09

A jam that sounds epic but in the end turns up nothing. For my friends that don't know what this is. It's an event for cause, Global warming with 35 countries around the whole attending, holding jam at their own country. This jam is to bring about awareness in global warming but I guess we brought more about Parkour. Anyway, I reached there early with weisheng as he needed to leave early. Did our stretches and realized a beginner hanging around as we were doing our stuff. Didn't care about him though. Later an ang moh came, had a chat with him until near the jam start.

11am and woots, the One Giant Leap event is commence. Started out with zahid and don't know who with stretching(was wondering around at that point of time). Next, is to warm up the body well which I also wondering at that point of time. After that, I used stan's camera and started filming some movements by the beginners. Felt the need to feature them although they are just beginners. Through the jam, I saw quite a few people doing things beyond their limit, well as usual with the beginners.

Everything was fine and going well when a security turned up to stop us but what can she do? We have over 60 people moving around, she can't possibly stop all of us and plus we have onlookers and passerby taking photo. We provide some sort of entertainment for them. Soon she gave up and well join them to look on but with a bit of frustration on her face. CP later suggested everybody to do a cat leap but it was a major failure which I don't want to talk about it.

Things ended fast and all of us soon went our separate way. Soon everybody was in their own groups discussing where to go next. Really dispersed around singapore. Bishan, Tampines, Buangkok and etc... Many still did not want to rest. Quite understandable. I went with some mates to ang mo ki0 to train. And well met a group of small kids there is parkour fanatics. Quite show off but we're used to this kind of people. Either showing off to their friends, girls by doing big drops. Stupid I must say, not only killing their knees but this drops is nothing to be proud in which after all anyone can do it as long as you are not scare.

What 'amazed' me was one the girl from the kid's group ask me if they need to prove to me that they can do the big drop. I answered a big hell no. Oh well no wonder parents forbid us to train. Seriously kids....I shall end this post really tired...

Oh enjoy the below links which contained today's jam pictures. Photo credit goes to Nat & Khai and thanks to Nomad for the upload.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=112682&id=641938036&l=6611dff299

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2717269&l=a3ed80b505&id=641938036

Once again

2009-09-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

25th September'09

Visited the doctor twice about the pain below my stomach in between where my dick and stomach is. Doctor suspected inflammation on my small intestine but at the moment nothing is being confirm so what can I do? I was told to rest well and not do much of straining things. Tomorrow's the Global change jamming and fuck, maybe I can't go. I really need to make a decision to go or not to. My health or my passion? Tough decision I must say. This global change jam its a once in a blue moon shit and to miss out really, damn wasted.

I don't know when this pain will be gone but was told that if really pain, I must go hospital or if not I'll died. Not sure the doctor is trying to scare me or anything but just hope the pain will subside soon. I still have to work today for 10hours, ggrrr, hope I can bear with it. Walking around serving foods, taking orders. Really hope that all this fast pace walking will not cause the pain to be worst.

In a few more minutes, I have to go work which sucks! Ok byebye

Nonsensical Typing

2009-09-22T03:09:00.001-07:00

22nd September'09

Tired after working 7th day at the restaurant. Got more familiar with what to do and what not to. Although frequently I got told off by doing the wrong things, their friendly attitude never fail to let me know that their only correcting me. Yesterday, I developed a similiar pain like gastric but till now, its still not ok yet. Though pain have lessen, I still feel quite uncomfortable with it.

Brother's birthday coming this sunday and I had sunday off to accompany him. This coming saturday is the major jam many been waiting for. A Global jam for a cause with over 30 countries attending. Well not really sure for what cause but I know I can't miss out on that one.

After a more than a year in my journey on Parkour, I have yet still shake off this competitive mindset. I found myself, sometimes comparing but shook it off later. Its every living thing's nature to compare and win and to not compare its hard. Family are seriously discouraging me from doing this but this passion I have is burning strongly inside. My first time after so many months of discouraging, I still continue. Must say, this is one of the goals I found, after many years of searching. Of course their discouraging sometimes affect my time in training.

Always finding ways to prevent me to go out do this stuff and always asking me to come home early, I understand their doings. But all I ask is for them to understand me, like how I understand them and never stop them from doing anything.

Byebye

Updates

2009-09-19T18:25:00.000-07:00

20th September'09

Now I know what it means to have nothing to blog about. Now I know why many of my friend's blog died down. My life, it is more carefree now. Through the lack of post, I realize that I have lesser frustration. Its like eversince I started work, I been busy working and have not been going out nor have I been training. Hang out lesser with friends, lesser problem or argument encounter, so lesser frustration.

Yesterday was Richie's birthday jam, went to train and realized my running form has level up. With now a quite okay running form, my SDC has level up too. Really feel great. Tryout a few SDC with running and felt the power within as I punch off. Awesome feeling. Yes, a feeling that many traceur want, a feeling that you have improve. So back to the birthday shit. Around 8pm, pizzas ordered and paid by Richie arrived with some sweet nice 1.5l drinks to go along.

So sad, I wanted the meat lover pizza but last piece I got hold on is taken. Never mind, as long as I give way, there will be no problem beside, its only a pizza. So in the end I ate Hawaiian pizza which is well not bad either. After pizza, I have to straight away go home, no choice, my family is controlling me. As I said, give way, so there will be no problem. Family is happy, friends happy. As long as they smile, I be happy enough.

End this post now....bye

Senseless typing

2009-09-14T06:18:00.000-07:00

15th September'09

3rd day of work, really tiring but on the positive side, I got pay $11 for 2hours of really slacking cos from time 2pm till 4pm there is like so little customers. But 2 consecutive day, I was late and got told off twice and by right, there is a punishment of no food for 3days if your late but managers let me off twice. Hopefully there won't be a 3rd time. Same as usual, about 1/3 of the customers are japanese. Worked with a japanese guy today but hell fuck, he know no english! Hard to communicate so it's was basic communication which is really cock up.

Learned many new stuff, like how to attend to customers, take their order, bill payment etc. Tomorrow's my day off, if not my fingers sprain, I will go training but since it is, will probably go for some morning jog. At the same time, condition my legs. Heard from couple of my friends about the dooms day which is on 2012. A couple of years till then. They said, there will be total chaos because something happened which I forget. But optimistic me won't let this affect my thinking and go on living as usual. But I won't say the same in a few years time when its nearing 2012.

By then, I will probably go around looking for sources to confirm the day. A day where everyone dies. Though my sis told me before that if everyone dies, it won't be that scary. But I believe that during the brink of your death, you feel fear. That fear, unexplainable, its a fear that everyone has. If you manage to overcome many fear, probably you feel that fearful too when you're dying. If I can die without pain, I will but that is so not possible unless you die in sleep which I don't want. Just seem too unprepare. So watched Samurai Girl lately, and heaven, a character in it told her mom about her bro's death wish.

Ok so after that, it got me thinking of my own death wish. Thought up quite a few.

1: Die saving a someone

2: Parkour half way and die(not appealing LOL)

3: In sleep(too not prepare)

Gonna sleep, bye

911

2009-09-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

11th September'09

A major event happened on this day 8years ago. A plane or 2 I don't remember, crash on the World Trade Center in New York and thus a war broke out between US and the Osama's gang. Happy birthday again to Stan & Aloy. Though no present but still wish you guys all the best.

First day of work, was quite ok and managable. Had a positive thinking wear on me this time so no arugment with boss break out in which happened on the 3 previous job I had. The uniform is quite unique but just that I don't like the colour of it. A vest with a tie, to summarise it, its very formal and its way too greenish. The poeple working there consist of different people from different countries. A china woman, malaysian girl, vietnamnese guy, 2 singaporean in which I'm one of them, indonesian woman. If I'm not wrong, under the partime list, I saw a couple of japanese name too. So yeah...pretty awesome, looking forward to working with them and maybe I will be able to learn japanese from them.

Yesterday, I bailed a backflip in which I landed on my head which resulted a bruise on the scalp, a fuck up sprain on my neck thanks to the impact when I landed head first and several swollen fingers. I don't know why but before I even decided to try, I had this thought that I would bail. but I brush off that thought by saying this in my mind " Just go for it, how can you be so unlucky to bail? ". Well, should have listen to that instinct but lets look on ahead. What happen has happened and no point blaming myself. Just hope I can recover quickly and resume my job on monday. And oh a fuck up thing that also happened is that I lost the restaurant's tie. OOPS!

A 09/09/09 post

2009-09-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

9th September'09

Today's a day where many people gets married. 3 nines, to many chinese's belief, it means 'Chang Chang jiu jiu' which I not sure what it means but briefly get the meaning. Prosperity if I'm not wrong. Exam for today was not like on monday, a walk in the park. As expected, I forgotten how to do many of the question or to be honest, I never really did listen in class thus I don't know how to do. But overall, I should be able to get B well since last night I studied.

Went for a job interview yesterday and everything went well so now I'm like waiting for the manager to call to tell me when I will start working. Hope I will have enough determination to stay through the job the whole month or at least a week. I have been working on my bridges a gymnastic move to basic flips like backhand spring and to backflip. Hopefully get it season so backhand spring will be easy.

Time seem to passes by so fast, each seconds it tick and by 60 ticks, its a minute. Many said, I have all the time in the world but seriously, do I? Most of my time are spent passing each day as it is with no extraordinary event happening. Each time I looked by at my past, I feel that I have yet accompanlish anything. Getting top in class, manage to nail this move isn't an accompanlishment. Its more like a capablity, its within me. So to find and accompanlish something I been looking for is really hard since I don't know what I want. Feel like I'm living in a world of indecisive-ness where I can't seem to decide on something. When will I start living my life fully by taking things seriously, often a question I question myself and still now.

Ending this post, I'm going to sleep. Waste time? Hell no...gonna regenerate what my body really needs, a good rest.

I don't like to keep secrets

2009-09-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

8th September'09

Yay video is up, had quite a tough time putting it up as I disconnected quite a few times resulting in failure in uploading. Yesterday exam was pretty easy, like a walk in a park but hopefully no careless mistake will pull me down. I'll be having another exam tomorrow in which I have no guranteen that I will get ' A ' but still gonna try my best and hopefully get a ' B ' . Will be heading down to Liang court today for an interview for a job. Hopefully, again, I'll get the job and work for some extra pocket money.

My talk with my mom always is very interesting. She is always opposing me for the wrong reasons and I'm always arguing with her for well sometimes the right reasons. So we had this talk and she was talking about my attitude towards life. She told me that everyone is working but why isn't me? I admitted that I'm lazy but then again, I really want to work. It's just that I have really have bad experience with work before. Quitted 2 jobs twice cause I argue with the boss. She was also pretty sure that outside, I have been playing gansterism in which I never did and never will. Thanks to one of her friend whose mouth is too big. She told my mom that " you never know what your son will be doing outside. ".

That word simply made it worst cos at that time she also found out I smoke cos I told her. I don't feel like keeping secrets from her. So with this in mind too, well her trust for me is lessen but I'm gonna get her trust back. Lazy as I'm now, I think I better get my day rolling so shall stop writing and end this post.

Updates

2009-09-06T04:15:00.000-07:00

6th September'09

Arms and legs feel extremely tired and uncomfortable. Tomorrow having exams, writing is gonna pose a bit of problem for me. Yesterday went with CCK and jelapang with mates to train. Manage to nail some stuff, tried out some string of movements as well. Though there were no serious bail, I cut myself when I try bouldering down in which I slide down instead. I didn't know how one of my mates manage to get a such a good grip on the wall and next time I should check out the wall first and not just see.

Manage to film half of the jam but was too engross with filming other that I forgot about myself thus getting only a few clips. Edited and uploaded to youtube. Just check the video tomorrow. Just today, a random guy called me up for a job interview at Liang Court and I don't even know what job it is. But probably restaurant and probably its from JobsDB that I have been spamming my resume to every coming opportunity.

Really hope to get a job, earn my own living and start buying my own stuffs. Gonna end the post here. Lazy to continue. Bye

A post for the sake of posting

2009-09-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

4th September'09

Recently bought a black leather bag from INK and at the same time I went shopping for my training shoes but none is to my liking. All the shoes I saw have really thick soles that will totally eat away all the impact. So training in it doesn't really help much. Saw a few nice one but it's way above my budget. At most I can only fork out $100 for it. But doesn't really matter, not really in a rush for the shoes anyway.

Recently mom's been nagging at me to go look for a job. Had a interview at a newly opened NTUC near hougang mall days ago but looking at the way the interview went, my hope of getting this job is slim.

Holiday, and its raining almost everyday plus its the month of the ghost festival. Seriously sucks, haven't been training for 5days. But really hope to resume as fast as possible. This time, probably I be focusing more on string of movements and get my movements more explosive.

Nothing much to blog about since nothing questioning or mind blowing as yet to happen since the start of the holidays. Shall end here

Signing off !

Story of A Evil Daughter

2009-08-31T21:35:00.000-07:00

1st September'09

My first day of my holiday for 7 weeks has just started, I'll be rotting. My ears are gonna be fill with pain sooner if I fail to get a job this holiday. A fun pack week this week's gonna be. Busy as it is, I hope its fun. Today, I'm gonna get a new bag and a new pair of training shoes. Wednesday, going out with probably my ITE friends to study. Thursday, going to my grandmother house for some "Da ri zhi" gotta say, it's gonna be really boring. Friday , I probably head down somewhere to train. Saturday, going out with my bro since he want me to accompany him out and lastly Sunday, accompany my mom to visit her mom.

Monday comes the next week and its my exams! But weird as it is, I don't seem to be nervous at all. Oh wait, it just seems that I just doesn't care at all. But whatever, I have confidence I will pass but I wanna get A and not just a pass.

A friend introduce me a really interesting video that tells a story using song. Quite a tradition way but the story I must say, it's really interesting. Of cos as expected of many, its produced by the Japs and the obviously enough, it's sang in Jap as well as the illustration is made from anime drawing as well.

Link to the first story : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q46Osg9C4pA&feature=related

The second one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo7z60aJqNA&feature=related

The third one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3XqQ1hTPTU&feature=related

The fourth one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNWAIJk2pEE&feature=related

Enjoy! :)

A day

2009-08-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

30th August'09

I have so much free time nowadays that I started to watch animes again in which I had it absent for months. Watched animes that are really nice and an interesting plot. These kind can get me watching up to 10 episodes in a day. Cos of 7th month, mom don't allow me to go outside train, so sometimes I just lied to her that I'm going to the gym but whereas in actual fact, I'm training. But seems like heaven's will as its been raining requently for the past few days plus its either heavy or for long hours. It just totally sucks, seriously but whatever though. Not gonna stop me from training.

Today, I went out with my bro and my neighbour as I promise to accompany them this week. Gonna summarize what happened. Me and my bro went to a place nearby hougang mall to get out hair cut. Next we went to meet our neighbour in which he drove us to AMK hub. After we reached there, we went to have our lunch before playing arcade for a few hours. It's been a while since I last went arcade. So after arcade, we went to grab something to eat as we were hungry. I got a double cheeseburger. So after it, we went window shopping and me and my neighbour bought slippers as ours were wearing out.

Still raining as we later went to find vincent to have our dinner together. Spent a few minutes talking cock with each other until the 3 of us decided to go Geylang Serai to get Ramly Burgers. After that we went home and tada, I'm writing a blog now.

Aims for myself is to be gracious at all times. Be helpful at all times and help whenever my friends need my help.

Just some minor updates of my life

2009-08-26T07:22:00.000-07:00

26th August '09

Tested out my camera's quality and it was quite ok. Wasn't up to my expectation though. Found out my phone's problem and that is...It has nothing to do with my phone! Memory card spoiled coincidentally but bought a new one. Cost around 25 bucks and lost quite a few important contacts.

Today, after a long time, finally, I'm able to experience once again music in my ears when on public transport. Kinda felt great :) . So my bursary from 600 to 300. Gonna decide what I'm gonna do with it next. Probably won't go to the plan as I planned some few post back. Maybe getting a bettery sony erission earpieace for $18 and maybe a pair of shoes for training like maybe around $80+?

Watched a show today and now my love for the creators of anime deepened. The show showed the country's graciousness and their life. It like a perfect life for me! Everyone took their intiative to be gracious without anyone telling. Even their services was a shock to me. How I wish I'm not a Singaporean and how I wish I'm living in Japan. Well if that could happen to me, it would be a wish come true.

Nothing more to blog about and I shall end this post.

Damn It!

2009-08-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

24th August'09

2 days ago, I went out with my sister to simei to collect my phone since the repair were already done. I was told to give them my reciept if not I will have to pay for the repair. Luckily enough, my sister got the reciept from the same shop she bought the phone for me. So that save me quite a few bucks.

Later we went to have starbucks then we slack and smoke. After that we went to Tampines to walked around and well I bought a digital camera since it was a good catch. W180 Sony cyber shot, cost less than 300 but more than 295. They gave a 8GB memory card and a pouch which was why I think it's a good catch.

And the most unlucky part of it was, while buying, the salesman attending to me was my previous NPCC's sir during sec 1. How I just hate him, always scolding me and picking on me. But whatever, I pretended to forget him and talked to him normally but it was kinda awkward.

I was happy I got a digital camera now and my phone was repaired but guess what?! My phone having send for repair now can't read my memory card! Which has a lot of important information inside. So without memory card, I lost contacts after Feb'09, music, important pictures and memories and most importantly , my project picture -.-. Great now things is totally great. Now to end this post, fuck Sony Erission 's service!

Sympathy or is it just to harsh?

2009-08-20T04:32:00.000-07:00

20th August'09

2 days ago, I had 2 tests in which I easily nailed the first one but copy throughout for the second one. If your read my msn nick, you will know that I send my phone for a repair. My phone couldn't detect my earpieace so it a bit irritating without music in my ear whenever I'm on public transport. Finally , my project with my group ended today with a very wavy presentation. All of us were unprepared but I tried to keep my mind calm so I was able to present without much trouble speaking to the audiences.

Yesterday's America's got talent episode was a bit disappointing as there wasn't much interesting performances. Many of the performances will be as what Piers always claim as a total car crash.

There was this one performance, where there is this one family whose whole life depends on the competition and the 1million dollars cash price. The man came walking in and introduce himself. Judge David suddenly asked " What does the competition means to you? ". He replied with tears wielding up in his eyes " It means the whole world to me. " . That reply send the audiences cheering for him, " Great , he already got some of the audiences, what a move " I told my sis. So his performance started with his wife running out from the backstage to the stage to assist in what he was going to do. He perform a trick that was commonly used by magician or escapist. His wife crawl into the box and sword were then pushed in and as you all know, the wife disappear and then appear again when he reverse the magic.

All the 3 judges weren't too happy about the performances since it had been perform too many times on this show. But that guy's previous reply got the audiences and they were already cheering for them. So comments come everytime after a performance. David said that there are so many of this performances that he watched before and many of them were rejected and because of his story, he can't just let him in to the next round. He added that this is a talent show and that there are people worst than him. He wishes him nothing and said NO.

Ok what judge david said was right, but then again since he was a lucky one amount the many unlucky one that manage to get this chance and it meant the whole world to him, I think he should let him into the next round. After all, its not like letting him win but why can't he just give him a second chance to let him prove himself once again?

I think I talked too much, shall end post here. And oh I got a really nice blog song ;) hope u enjoyed it while reading. HAHAs

WORDS

2009-08-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

18th August'09

Words are such powerful things. It can start a war, a fight, an argument or simply make peace. It can even make someone fall in love with one another. WORD is like a powerful weapon that each of us have. Depending on our personality and depending on how we use it. It affects. But depending on what kind of person taking in those words, some may not be affected while some will be emotionally triggered.

Many a times, words coming from my mouth have started fights, argument between friends. And also many of this times, I was not involved. I just like someone who merely throw a lighter into a pool of oil leading to 2 explosive material.

Because I was brought up been naturally bastard, I have said many things that made people feel sad, hurt or angry. I use to think that since I can take critisim, teasing easily and not emotionally affected, I assume others can too. But I'm forgetting one thing. I forget that there are so many people out there with so many different personality. WORDS can be beautiful, nice but it can be awful too.

WORDS coming from someone like me is never good and always it quite offending. Many don't understand me to why I'm always doing this. They always assume I do this because of that but no, most of the time my reasons differs from a normal person.

Depending on how someone sees it. My words are not harmful though to many it seems to be. Probably due to my bad english and bad ways of putting words together correctly, I have cause many misunderstanding. I'm the cause, I cause chaos not because I'm powerful or anything but because I'm just a straightforward, playful, mischevious bastard teen.

I know my words hurt many cause I was not using it properly. Please my harmful words to you guys are not harmful words cause I'm a guy who don't mean harm.

Mom's Celebration

2009-08-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

16th August'09

Today, went to celebrated mom's birthday with 2 of my other siblings. Supposed to meet at 1.30pm with my sister and along waiting with me were my mom and brother. She was late, as usual. We wasted no time in heading to our first destination, Din Tai Fung. A chinese restaurant whose service, I give them 3/10. Serious, fucked up service but got to admit, the food was good. Especially the "little dragon bao"....It was just heavenly! The taste, the exploding soup in the bun exploded sweetly in my mouth. Ok let not get carried away.

After our lunch, we went to collect our movie tickets in which we booked online. Watching Jack Neo's latest movie, where got ghost? Awesome movie I must say, quite hilarous and for horror? It wasn't that good but I'll just take it as a comedy movie. The fear that every movie strike in us when we watch other horror flicks/movies wasn't there. Funny part overwhelmed the horror, thus I didn't treat it as horror genre.

Movie ended with us rushing for a toilet. After the relieve, we went to have our dinner. We all travelled from Tampines to Simei to just eat. Ate at foodfare and after that, we all went home. I was feeling tired but then again a great day :).

Just us, 14th August

2009-08-14T21:25:00.000-07:00

15th August'09

14th August, a friend's birthday as well as my mom's birthday. Celebrated with her yesterday, but it was only the 2 of us since the rest were working. Of course it wasn't a real celebration, it was just the blowing of candle and cutting of the cake. Took some pictures, sang the song and after that, I'm off to meet some training mates for training.

Reached bishan around 3pm and not long after I arrived, mates arrived. We started training, I was doing some light training, no vigorious movements as I didn't want to take much impact. After 30min, it rained heavily, for 1hour. We did nothing much but just some cat to cat at the 1st spot.

Soon stan and aloy came, they didn't come train, no. Stan came to spar with me along with aloy. Of course I won but due to this few disadvanteges stan had. Stan firstly, wasn't wearing specs, secondly, he seems to be a bit nervous. Oh also his punches were slow. Rules were, no face or dick hitting and first one to pin whoever down wins. Total, I took no hit except for a part while stan was blocking my punch, he smack my hand down so hard it smack my arhem. Also I blocked his punch directly using my palm thus resulting in pain till now. Hitted him a few times, on stomache, chest, shoulder.

Guess the reason I won was because, I was facing a familiar face thus my mind was calm and able to think. But after you read this, don't come sparring with me cos I'm not that good. It was just that stan was weak.

After the fight, we went to the second spot to train. My running form got better and after the last spot, I went home and oh congrats glenn on your better sdc.

Blueberry Birthday Cake :) Bought by sister

Lights up

Posing for the lighted cake ;)

Cut the cake!

48bucks bracelet, shared between my brother and me

Never quite felt like it

2009-08-13T02:04:00.000-07:00

13th August'09

Finally, after more than 2 months of waiting, I finally got my bursary. Was really happy to recieve the news that day. 600bucks and woots, I can do a lot with it. Mom's birthday is tomorrow and I don't know what to give her. Last year I gave her a necklace but it was a fake one so it turned rusty after a few months. This year, I planned to give her a piece of bracelet but then again, I can't afford a real one and I don't want to give her a fake one. So I'm actually lost at what to give her. Seriously I need suggestion! Hmmm something nice, memorable and affordable like maybe below 50bucks cos that is the limit of my budget.

Watched America's Got Talent yesterday and was really touch by the last performance. This unemployed farmer brought a guitar dressing like some poor dude and walked into the stage. Many laughed when they heard his occupation. His daily job? Chicken Catcher! But this 35years old Kevin Skinner is like everyone of us. His singing wasn't fabulous, his look ain't that good looking, his guitaring ain't that great. But yet he managed to get it through. He started playing his guitar and when he opend his mouth to sing, the audiences and the judges all stopped whatever their doing to listen.

He sang the song from his heart, like this song is somehow related to his life. Really awesome, he got me and I hoped he wins the competition. Heres the link to his video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lzul5rxd-i8 Be touch.

Random Post

2009-08-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

11th August'09

11th august now, I just realized how fast time flys by. Soon, next thing we know, it already the end of 2009. In this year, 2009, I felt like I'm still living in 2008. How I wish time would stop as and when you want. How I wish we grow old slower. Recently, I miss out out a jam by my clique but at the same time, I had fun with the beginners in which I attended the jam before my clique's.

Jam wasn't so epic, but I managed to overcome my fears and nailed what I should have nailed long ago. So basically saying, from that jam, I gained more confident but that doesn't apply to my wallpass though. Still as weak as ever. Went to watch G.I joe on sunday and the show was awesome. I really like the white ninja though his the bad guy. From young, I really hope to become an assasin one day but of cos that is really impossible. I remember that I made my own pair of katana and try it on my bro. Really foolish and stupid and of cos that katana broke in a hit since it was made out of newspaper. -.-

Hot weather recently causes rashes to appear on the back of my neck. It really itch and I been scratching it. Fucking irritating, seriously.

Some of my friends pass each day as it meant to be, school, work, entertainment, sleep and it repeats. Those are typical human being's cycle. Boring and it like an animal's life, doing what you are meant to do. But we are humans, we do greater things, we have greater potential so why are we acting like animals?

Just put up the easycounter thingy but looks really weird with 0000 hits. LOL but gonna put it there, I believe the number will rise with time :)

Lazy

2009-08-06T22:46:00.000-07:00

7th August'09

Many of my friends have noticed that the way I do things and the way I speaked is very sloppy. I only realized them when my friends pointed it out or when I see my own movements when doing a move. But this sloppyness attitude of mine cause many people having different views on me. Take for example, I got accuse but I just don't seem to bother explaining my innocence. Why? Just too lazy to speak too many words, might as well just leave it. Seriously I need to change my sloppy attitude. It just seems that I don't give a damn on how others see me but that is only apply to a stranger or to a normal friend.

See my msn nick? " Behold ! TheDout & TheBert ". It a nick my ITE friends gave me. A moment of folly and excitement as I accidentally mispronuce dog and bird when I was speaking too fast. There, from that moment, I have the nick and it an inside joke that everyday they link anything to it. Movies, muscles, etc.

Of course I'm not angry but just annoyed. Why? Cos they can start this from the moment they see me and till the end of class, they still continue. But doesn't really matters, as long as it make their day, a little sacrifice is worth it. Quiet as I seem, I like been alone. Lone ranger some might call me. They questioned me why I love to be alone. Well it basically simple, you can enjoy the peace and quiet, do things your own way without anyone standing or objecting it.

Want me to play in a team? No way, I can't . I'm just too individual. Thats why sometimes I just don't like talking. Oh well enough talking about myself. I'm getting a little tired. Think I'm going to sleep soon.

Diary Entry date 4th August 2009

2009-08-04T03:15:00.000-07:00

4th August'09

4th August now, soon our Nation will celebrate it 44th birthday. Don't worry people, all the discussion about my bad points didn't affect me at all. I'm still gonna be cheerful as I always be. Recently, I been to hook to "Howie do it". It a show about this guy name howie that goes around pulling pranks people but sometimes I find it a little bit too harsh but whenever he reveals himself, the victims laugh.

A acne outbreak recently got me, but it all better now since I been taking care of it. But it seems not to admit defeat, leaving acne scars on my face which just totally sucks. Addition to my collections of scars. Just went down to CC to ask about my bursary. Seriously, everyone in my class got their bursary and why I still haven't got mine? The office girl, told me that I'll get it around end of august. Will be looking forward to get the money. 600bucks and here is what I'm gonna do.

600bucks, probably 350 will go into getting a digital camera. So now I have left 250. 100bucks going into getting new clothes. 50 probably into a nightout with my closest mates. 100bucks and probably my personal savings will go into getting treatment for my ugly face so that I can be more handsome :D. Seriously, this acne problem is killing me.

Any Comment?

2009-08-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

1st August'09

Words from Dblucy(a training mate) :

I won't beat around the bush la,i will just say it straight.

Bad Points

To me la,i think you are sort of an attention seeker,and a person who makes alot of false analogies,someone with a brain but don't use it much.And some of your blog posts damn EMO sia! AIK

(Just pouring out what is in my heart that I don't want to talk face to face. Yes I quite emo actually)

Reason why i say you attention seeker is because like say,maybe,sometimes when people are around,you tend to feel like doing a pk move..

(Quite true, with people around, I tend to move more.)

Dblucy said (9:24 PM): which results in you bailing and shitz,but that is ok.

(Bailed cos wasn't focusing on what I was doing and I belittle the obstacles.)

The main point i dun like is you keep ASSUMING THINGS

(This one I'm truly aware since it been pointed out too many a times. Guess assuming it a habit for me.)

and ACTING like you know alot of stuffs,but in fact,you don't.

(Not consious that I act)

Example,i forgot when ah,but i rmb during one of the buangkok jams we had.You said something to me after i nail a move,then you say "impact sia" .But actually not impact at all,is just the sound that makes it sound impactful then.

(Didn't meant what I said, sounds of it makes me feel the pain too thus I sometimes automatically say OUCH!)

Dblucy said (9:25 PM): after that stanley come and say "no what,ok what the landing" then you go "yeah la actually is ok la" is like super retarded la,

(Lazy to think much and thinking " Why don't just agree and everything will be as simple as that.")

u just anyhow assume things and then when someone else gives a different opinion about it you just stupid dumb dumb go agree,like never use brain like that.Not just that la,got alot of shitz too.

(Agreed cos I can't say in words how I disagree thus the best option for me is to agree even though I don't understand or I disagree.)

Thanks Dblucy for sharing his view on me and I hope many will to. Cos I know my bad points but I wanna know more so I can change. Oh CP, I also remembered why that time I said "I think you should do that when we're around" Actually, I meant it as a safety comment cos I fear that you might bail and if you do it alone and bail, no one will be there to attend you. But then again that comment was wrong and unneccesary as I shouldn't have doubted you, cos you know what you were doing then.

Tag your comments on my comments. I gladly welcome any comments. Don't worry of hurting me cos I won't get hurt easily, Happy-GO-Lucky man ;)

Cruel or Beautiful?

2009-07-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

31st July' 09

Tired from training just now...Went to shino to prevent myself from getting rusty. But I acted just like a poser cos a few of my malay friends followed me and asked me to show them some moves. Fear of running pre is still there and couldn't even do a simple one which I nailed some time back.

They took several videos and I got reckless as I did a jump but lucky impact wasn't that much since it was on a grasspatch. Regretted doing that jump though but oh well what done can't be undone.

Nearly all my classmates have take their bursary but I still haven't got mine...It just sucks....I need that 600bucks to buy some stuff I wanted badly. Clothes etc....

Recently had a chat with my mom about Gods. I have now learned how to respect each religion. My mom told me about her aunt who pray really hard everyday but beside her good praying, she did a lot of bad things. Like picking on my grandma and her own mother. So this thing she is praying to teaches her about good manners and stuff in which she didn't apply in her life. Soon tragedy struck and she was diagnosed with diabetes and so it her son. My mom then added and told me that this is retribution for her been so bad. So curious, like a kid asking, I asked " So if that thing she is praying to is so beautiful, then why would it want to give her retribution even if she did bad things? If I were that beautiful thing, I would give her another chance. So from what you said, it like you implying that offending God is a bad thing? ".

Obviously she scolded me. Adding to it I asked " So what if I go to God now and offend him, do a lot of bad things like killing people, will he kill me too? Like a retribution or something. ". She again scold me. It very obvious she don't understand what inner of it. But she got so pissed she ignored me for a while. But managed to make it up to her.

Worms

2009-07-27T02:21:00.000-07:00

27th July'09

Actually I wanted to blog a post about my dad, a post in which you take a step closer to knowing him better. I have already wrote that post but only it saved in my computer but second thoughts about it and I chose not to post it. I have no idea why I'm writing this post, probably cos I'm feeling pretty bored. Sian this thursday, I must hand in the report and the model of my project work. Thinking about staying back and doing it makes me feel so stress.

Today got back my test result and it was a pretty good scores with me copying a bit here and there. 73 out of 75. Good huh? Recently dad got both the toilet and bathroom's window changed. Repaired work cost 350bucks and because our rotten wood window is been changed, what left remaining on the floor were dust, creepy crawly which totally scare the shit out of me. There are a lot of this worm , like mealworm but pale color with no legs and a peach color head. It damn eerie, looking at it wriggling and been ask to clean them up. Each time I sweep them into the dustpan, they produced a thud sound from hitting the dustpan.

STM got me again as I forgot what I want to post minutes ago. But I will end my post here and well maybe sleep first before doing housework.

Realizing

2009-07-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

23rd July'09

Been too busy to update blog recently. Virus have now spread to my other family members too. I have so many things going on, like project, taking care of family and many others. Due to my friend's fracture ankle, he is unable to attend school for 2weeks and also last week, I was down for 1week, sick. The project which was susposely to be done on saturday but it got dragged till monday. Everyday after school, my team chiong the project at the injure dude's house till 8pm. Even today, I'm so damn tired. Also these few days, my mom fell ill and after I came home from project, I have to wash dishes and many other things. Back to smoking again which entirely sucks and just wasted 5bucks on it.

Woke up for school late recently too. This busy life....I don't want it but yet, it feel satisfying to accomplished so many stuff. Tomorrow I have to help out with design of the logo for AMA and help stan out a bit. I don't know if I can help out though but I think I'm gonna do it. All this activities took up a lot of my time. Even finding a time to blog or at least an hour to myself is hard.

For this past few days, I felt that I have realize something but I don't know what it is. This something I realize, make me want to change. I know I want to be a better man. I want to stop smoking, I want to help my family out in whatever ways I can, I want to help my friends if they need help and I want to spend time with each and everyone. I want to spend time training motivation-ly too. I don't want to slack anymore, I can't waste my life in school since my parents pay them to get a cert out of it. I finally know my duties but somehow somewhat, I still don't know what I want in life.

When I write this post, why do I even care about my grammar although most of the time I have grammar mistakes? I think I should not care anymore. I will just type what I feel. From now onwards, I'm gonna follow my heart and right now my heart tell me family comes first.

Blurred

2009-07-20T05:55:00.000-07:00

20th July'09

The blog post today is about what happened yesterday. Can't waste no more time, got some project to work on, so this post is gonna be short.

Yesterday was supposed to go nart's treat to a dinner at a cheapskate coffee shop but wasn't fully recovered so I skipped it. In the end I followed my brother to hougang plaza to do some touch up work on a shop. Just need to paint some few parts. Took quite awhile and sercurity guards were in our ways. Managed to settle them. Tone used on them was a bit rude but that just me.

After the job is done, we went to 7 eleven to get some mashed potato as well as drink and chill till 11.30pm where we talk rubbish. On the way home, a girl called out to us. She was with a friend. I thought she was just asking something so I ignored her whereas my bro answer. Because we were a distance away, she shouted "no not you but the other guy." . I was confused at why she would want to call out to me. Next thing I know, she shouted "hello hello, i'm stella! " I was like huh...but whatever. Didn't much care as I couldn't see her face as she was quite tanned and it was at a dark corner too.

Will walking, I realised she was the girl I met quite a few times at the bus stop and I have sat with her a few times in the bus. But never did I know she will actually do a sudden self intro to me. But didn't care much. Oh and I met with an scary counter.

On the way home, I don't know why but I looked up at a flat and noticed a red light unit with a dark figure standing in the middle. My brother couldn't see the dark figure. Was wondering was it his eyes or was it his already not there. It kinda freak me out. Also while in my sister's room looking at the mirror, I got freaked out. I came back and went straight into my sis room and happened to look at the mirror and sub consiously said this to myself "wow i'm just a like a ghost!" But I then realised although that person is me, I look horrifying pale. And that just freaked me out.

Heat it up

2009-07-16T20:43:00.000-07:00

17th July'09

It all started a few days ago, to be exact, a wednesday evening. Was told that the Clarke Quay jam was cancelled as the UK dudes needed rest and Ashton was sick as well. Around 4pm, I felt unwell, soon cough developed but it wasn't that serious. Slowly fever and other syntoms came out. But I didn't take it as a serious matter and was joking with Ashton what if he have H1N1. Night fall , I decided to visit a doctor as my fever got worst. Burning up to 38.0 degrees and having cough, doctor suspect that I have H1N1 and asked me to stay at home for 3days. He also asked me not to go out within that few days and if my fever still persist, I have to come back again.

Honestly speaking, was a bit happy that I didn't have to go school but was a bit disappointed that I can't go to the Buangkok Jam too. After a few hours, my fever subsided and I was quite glad that it did. The next day, I was feeling pretty fine and was all jumpy until evening. My fever had come back and was burning up to again 38.0 degrees. My cough got worst and on that night, I decided to visit the doctor again. He gave me stronger medicine and 5 pills that cost $5 each to consume.

I thought after eating that pill, I would be fine but never did I know it got worst. As the night got deeper, my fever surprisingly shoot up to a shocking 40.3degrees . At that time, my mom was deciding if she should bring me to hospital. I told her that even if she wants she should do it tomorrow instead of now since it already so late. The clock struck 12am and she decided to let me take the medicine again. After the medicine, I fell alseep and was woke up by a jerk. Surprisingly, I felt better and I decided to took my temperature again. This time although it still high, reading at 39degrees, I felt better. I couldn't sleep, with my mind sub consiously awake.

Nearly 5am, I decided to take my medicine again and after it I slept until 10am. And now I'm all better. Though I still feel weak, at least I'm not burning ;). Hope I can resume my normal activities soon

Some updates over the 2days

2009-07-14T23:54:00.000-07:00

15th July'09

Just some updates over what happen the last few days. 2days ago, I went slacking with some friends from ITE, smoking and talking rubbish. Laughing most of the time. Today, one of them didn't come to school. Just 2 days, I think he broke his leg while skateboarding...So let not drift off from where we started. So after slacking, I went to 'castle' (a parkour spot in tamp) to drop by and again slack. But of course, I was tempted to train too. Been in my lousy shoes, I have no choice but when barefoot. First few small catleaps were good but after it, I did some several impactful stuffs , barefooted. Seriously...Ouch...I met them, saw them did some sick stuff, was amazed by it and well went home after 45min of slacking...LOL

14th July'09, woots...no school on that day. Slept till 10am. Played computer to past time. Bishan jam, an awesome one with many interesting thing happened inbetween. While waiting for bus to go Bishan, I saw many weird and funny things. First was a girl sitting next to me having a mostauche! Kind of disturbing as it the direction to see if the bus has arrive or not. Second thing was opposite the bus stop, I saw an old auntie walking around with a bunch of newspaper containing rice. She was sprinkling the rice while walking. Wonder what with her....Lastly, a female who sat beside me farted -.-. Luckily have sound , if not I think I will stink to death...

Finally reached Bishan, in which I did some warmups before proceeding to get back my sdc2pre. Did nailed it but it was inconsistant, nailing it with a few impactful landing. My precision improved, wallpass still the same, sdc's power deprove...and climbup still the same.

Today's Jam was cancel but maybe again a blessing in disgiuse for me as I just fell ill. Mild fever with a bit of coughing. I think I got it from Ashton yesterday. Thanks a lot Ashton...I will remember it. Had a test today, though copied a little here and there, I think I understand the whole thing. Just hope tomorrow, my school end early and I can go for the jam at Buangkok...

Heaven or Hell?

2009-07-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

13th July '09

Went to geylang lor 7 for a farewell gathering for my dear friend. All of us met up at AMK about 6pm. We all wonder around AMK before we decided to have our dinner at Plaza Sing. And fuck man...I went to Plaza Sing for 5 times this week! Because one of our friend left his handphone in his car, he went to get it and we all went to food court to have our dinner. After a while, we notice that he had gone for quite a while and decided to find him. It was like hide-n-seek as finding him took a awhile as his handphone's battery was dead.

After dinner, we all slack in L's car. L asked his friend for direction before we all decided to head off. After we all reached geylang lor 7 which was a pretty short trip, all of us hesistated for a while before going in. First time and the thought of girls surrounding you while singing was awesome but that thought soon turn to nightmare.

Sitting in a room while the lady boss explained to us about the pricing and the rules, outside our room was crowded with more than 10 hungry girls(confirm look for money one -.-). Looking at the situation outside, I was like damn....oh fuck....this is going to be hell.... After the lady boss left, girls rushed in crowding us. I was feeling very uncomfortable instead of shiokness. One even proceed to stroke my private part. They were all over us. Me and my friend decided to use going to toilet as an excuse to get away from that madness. At the toilet, both of us were breathing sigh of relief but seriously stupid. Even the toilet for men have no door. After a while, we went back. The number of girls was reduced to 7. L seem to be enjoying the company of those China's bitches.

Slowly we rejected many and left with L and a girl. It was pretty unsightful as what I observed next makes me very uncomfortable. They were touching, kissing and even sucking. Every 1 to 2min, a girl will come in asking if we want their service. Of course many of us rejected. Slowly, no more girls came in and we were kind of enjoying singing to ourselves, laughing and joking.

Sang and drink till 12am till we all wrapped up and go home. I swear, I will never visit that kind of place ever again unless I'm desperate which I don't think will happen. And mates look out for next month, wanna go pub...

Trying to Catch

2009-07-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

11th July'09

A bug sit infront of my computer screen as I'm typing this. As I mention in my previous post, today, I went out with some old friends to catch up. I decided to meet stan, kenneth and les at hougang first but in the end les didn't turn up. So we proceed to have our lunch before going up to the 3rd storey of hougang plaza to have an hour of pool. While playing, we were then joined by jasper. After pool, we all decided to head down to town area to slack at the same time meet up with adrian and his girl.

Meeting them at Orchard Cine, we walked slowly. When we walked half way, we noticed stan had gone missing and we started joking on him, about his lost. I had intially thought he was way infront since he can't wait. Then I started wondering when kenneth pointed out that he have a feeling that he is behind. Was actually walking with stan when I decided to stop and wait for jasper and kenneth as they were walking slowly. After they caught up with me, I couldn't find stan and assume that he has already walk off. Reaching cine, I decided to call serveral times but stan didn't pick up the phone. We all then met up with adrian, told adrian what happened and decided that he call.

Great he is at Orchard Central, we all wasted no time in making our way there but because of the crowd, we kind of again, walked really slow. Got up the 6th floor to meet him and only to find out he went down to the 3rd floor. After wasting a lot of time finding stan, we all decide to go "speedy" a LAN shop along Orchard. Reaching there, we found out that it already full house and decided to go X-zone at Dhoby Ghaut mrt to have a game of daytona and proceed to Plaza Sing's arcade too. Wasted time there until got a call that there was vacancy at the LAN.

Kenneth got to go and from there, left us 5. We all went to play LAN for an hour before having our dinner and then again going to Plaza Sing to slack. After slacking, we all went home. Notice this is pretty short. Lazy to write anymore. Such simple activites and we spent 8hours. Wow....

Mosquito Bites turns funny

2009-07-09T04:33:00.000-07:00

9th July'09

I woke up breaking out in cold sweat as I slide my phone up to check the time, 3.15am. Itch, I move my hands to my penis to scratch it. Just kidding...Ok not funny -.- , I move my hands to my calf and started scratching so as to ease the itchness. Never did I knew doing that would made it worst. I started feeling more itch on that red dot and soon it became a huge red dot. Yes a mosquito bite. Since it was just one, I decided to ignore it but never did I knew , it decided to attack a few more times. Soon I had 6 bites and I was scratching like nobody's business. I know that scratching won't do so I went to get ointment to apply on it. Kind of soothe it and with that, I went back to my dreamland.

Today and yesterday in school, I was disturbed by my friends. Because of once I mispronouced dog and bird when I was speaking too fast, it always happened to me. Not sure why maybe I have short tongue thus many times I mispronouce it wrongly but I can pronouce it properly if I speak slower. That is already disturbing enough with them using almost everything to disturb me. My friend hidayat, laugh at my every action. I don't know why and he keep saying the way I do things very funny and cute. I don't know how it came to this but I was very annoyed. He is so random that when we were walking to together, he turned to me and burst out laughing.

I can't tell jokes, but I'm sure some of my action made you laugh. "Without me that is no fun" 3 person had said that. Am I really fun to be with? I don't know. I just being myself and people just laughed. Oh, I realized that my right eye is getting myopia. Bad thing for me course I never want to wear a spec. It will sure look ugly on me. With all this talking done, I shall end this post!

A day

2009-07-07T04:11:00.000-07:00

7th July'09

Nothing to blog about cos nothing special happen. I'm passing each day as it is suppose to be. I feel like an animal...passing each day doing things it should be doing.

I was woke up by familiar music coming from my phone. Realized it was my alarm that went off ,I proceed to have it snooze before going back for more sleep. The alarm went off for the third time, as I crawled slowly , forcing myself out of the matress. Went to the kitchen to have my breakfast, mom bought for me. Fried noodles again and it was awful. The noodles were soggy...Couldn't finish the 'awesome' fried noodles. Drank milo, and brush my teeth before putting on my shoes.

Went to the nearest park, 100m away from my house and begin my training. Did some stretching first before having all my fours on the ground. Starting doing quardropedy(don't know how to spell =.=) and my aim was 100m forward and backward. Took many rest in between as I could not handle the stress. Finally completed it and my legs and hands were all wobbly. Rest for around 15min before proceeding to do some pull ups etc.

Tired...I went home but satisfy. Used computer a bit then bath then go school. At school rot for the whole day then go home. At home, do housework, then rot and use computer.

That my day

Riched

2009-07-05T03:05:00.000-07:00

5th July'09

Tomorrow school is reopening, how I wish holidays were a bit longer but well reality as it is. Longer? Guess that impossible. Today, I head down to the busiest street of Singapore with my brother to buy some stuff. And I think I just spelled busiest wrongly but nevermind. 12pm? Was the time we went out of our home.

Alighted at Dhoby Ghaut station and planned to walk to Orchard from there. Walking pass many construction site, me and my bro realize the goverment are actually building a lot of shopping centre(s). What a waste of money I thought. As we were walking, we came to a stop when we saw this huge building diagonally of us. "OrchardCentral" curious, we went in. Many of the shops are not open yet and it is pretty empty from what we saw. But amazed or not. This building have actually 11th storeys! There's even a balcony at the 6th or 7th. Also there's a rock climbing wall built on the second storey. I was stunned at technology, how fast it's progressing or perhaps how fast Singapore is getting richer from those hefty taxes we paid. Design of the building was a bit plain. But the inner structure seem pretty nice to train Parkour .

Soon we were bored but we spent a lot of time in that place. Roaming around the streets, as we move from centres to centres. Bought what we wanted, a transfomer's figurine. Well at least that what my brother love. He is more of trendy-technology loving kind well I'm more to a sport person but in fashion, we never lag behind. Well, it feels great to be on the streets, afterall I'm going back to school tomorrow. If it possible, I want to go out and catch up with some of my old classmates someday around this week.

With all this crap, I shall end my post.

3 of it

2009-07-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

3rd July'09

For the whole day of today, I was out. From morning 8am till night time 10pm, went to 3 places separately. First stop was bringing my dad to hospital for his endosdifscope(sorry I have no idea how to spell at all). Was a long wait but dad came out fine with the scope result that wasn't good. Because he was diagnosed with an illness call "B-xin gan yan" , that illness will frequently pump acid to his throat's veins thus swollening it up. Once the swell is big enough, it will burst and result in him vomiting blood which happened few years ago on a night. After I was done with doctor speaking to me about his condition, we went home and at the same time bought some food for lunch.

After lunch, I rest for awhile before leaving for a filming with ESPN at Bishan. Was there filming when I noticed I lost my running form again which resulted in my things I couldn't do. A guy from National Geographic was there too. He was too, filming but there weren't any interview except for ESPN. It was long and tiring but I enjoyed it. During one of the shot, a malay guy that seem to be from MINDS (A place for mentally people) turned up and he wanted to join us. We was like Ok but he wanted the host, a girl from the ESPN to take down his number. I was like what? Of course, she was so unwilling to give nor take down his number. She seem to freak out. But in the end Stephen step in to solve the situation. I don't know what he say and I couldn't give a shit about it either but what matter is that he drove that guy away.

Neared 7pm, we wrapped up and went to Bishan to slack for a while before I went home in which I , again went out with my bro to go Hougang Mall to buy a pair of slippers. After we bought the slippers, we went window shopping and I saw a hat from cotton on. A formal black hat that I wanted so badly. Finally I found it but of course I couldn't buy. No I couldn't afford to waste money on such stuff. Soon tired, we went home and here I am writing the post.